Song for a Dark Girl

I was stumbling a bit for poetry as we near the end of National Poetry Awareness Month (aka April), so I decided to fall back on Langston Hughes. I was reading Song For a Black Girl in class while tuning out my prof talking about Faulkner and thought about it, then I read this post from Stuff White People Do and decided it was a good thing. You'll see why in a moment.

As a side note, I have no idea why it's so hard for folks to accept that their savior might be a person of color. Oh wait, I think I know.

Anyway, have a poem/song:

Song for a Dark Girl

Way Down South in Dixie
(Break the heart of me)
They hung my black young lover
To a cross roads tree.

Way Down South in Dixie
(Bruised body high in air)
I asked the white Lord Jesus
What was the use of prayer.

Way Down South in Dixie
(Break the heart of me)
Love is a naked shadow
On a gnarled and naked tree.

Tennessee makes me sadder still

Note: Oh. Hey. Sup? Me? Ehh, fecking pissed still.


Not even a mint chocolate coffee drink could combat my extreme sadness upon reading more fucking dumbness from my state. I mean, TN already makes me incredibly sad as you may know from hearing me talk about it for more than five minutes, and...you know Johnson City is awfully close to like 3 other states I could just run off to.

But things don't change.

Oh, the fucking dumbness from my state:

ACLU wants schools to unblock access to gay Web sites

Knox County's school system is among 107 in Tennessee targeted by the American Civil Liberties Union in a campaign to lift blocks to student access to nonsexual Web sites with information about "lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender issues."

In a letter to officials of the school systems and the Tennessee Schools Cooperative, the ACLU says it will file lawsuits if the school systems do not develop, by April 29, a plan to unblock the "LGBT" filtering category "or any other category that blocks nonsexual Web sites advocating the fair treatment of LGBT people by the beginning of the 2009-2010 school year."

"Students at Knox County and Metro Nashville schools are being denied access to content that is protected speech under the First Amendment as well as the Tennessee state Constitution," said Tricia Herzfeld, staff attorney with the ACLU of Tennessee. "This kind of censorship does nothing but hurt students, whether they're being harassed at school and want to know about their legal rights or are just trying to finish an assignment for a class."

I suppose that falls more under "fucking baffling" than actually fucking dumb. Knox is in east TN in case you were wondering. Like Knoxville get it? Where you hear banjos and shit.

Oh I'm not surprised. I'm more mad at really over zealous school web censoring in general, blocking all sorts of informational sites. By my senior year I could barely use fucking Google in the library. I guess, I was in the library so why don't I look up some books, but I fucking hate high school libraries because they're usually so woefully understocked and disorganized (I fucking worked in ours, I know this shit).

Oh, but I guess that wasn't ignorant enough for you. Never fear, I have more fucking dumbness from my state. If this doesn't have you craving cyanide cookies and bleach tea I don't know what will:


Slavery proposal faces GOP opposition in Tennessee

NASHVILLE - A proposal for the Tennessee General Assembly to express regret for slavery and segregation laws faces a tough hurdle from Republican lawmakers in a House committee today.

Rep. Brenda Gilmore, a Nashville Democrat and main sponsor of the resolution to express "profound regret for the enslavement and racial segregation of African-Americans," ran into hard opposition from several members of the State and Local Government Committee when she spoke before the panel last week.

Republican Rep. Eric Watson, a sheriff's lieutenant in Bradley County, asked Gilmore to expand the resolution to cover all groups that have engaged in enslaving people through history.

"Let's do this for everybody, not just for a certain group of people," he said. "I know you don't want to get accused of profiling, I don't either."

Watson said others were enslaved in the 1800s, too, including Spanish and Chinese people.

Gilmore said she wants to focus on blacks because they were the most predominant group subject to slavery in the South. Six other states - Alabama, New Jersey, Florida, Maryland, North Carolina and Virginia - have passed similar legislation.

Rep. Eric Swafford, a Pikeville Republican, also took issue with expressing regret specifically toward blacks.

"Once we start talking about an individual group of people, and that we should never forget what they have gone through - I don't think that promotes love and unity," he said. "I think that promotes division."

"THAT'S TOO CONFLICTY OMG OMG OMG GET IT AWAY"

Actually, fuck the both of you. I personally don't want an apology. You're not really sorry, either party.

Auuuughhh it buuuurrrns~ *sips mocha*

Countee Cullen, that other dude I didn't know about

Of course there's a wealth of literature out there that I'll feel I should know about but either never find out about or just find out too late.

Next week in my Am Lit II class we will be covering Countee Cullen. I might as well just get ready to be pissed, shouldn't I?

Cullen was a poet during the earlier years of the Harlem Renaissance with Langston an'nem, heavily influenced by John Keats, whom I'll be talking about before the month's up, because I loves me some Keats.

Two notable things about Cullen, and you'll soon understand my pre-emptive anger knowing my professor's track record with...stuff:

He was married to Yolanda DuBois, daughter of WEB DuBois

and

She ended up divorcing him when he told her he was attracted to men.

Oh yes, he got married again much more happily, but it seems at the very least Cullen was bisexual...like Langston an'nem. And well, yeah, homosexuality of any sort was a big ol' no-no back in the 30s-40s, and he was doubly pressed being black. Black communities tend/ed to downplay an awful lot some of our heroes and their sexual orientation if it's anything but straight. That's actually something interesting I'd like to get into another time. I think this might just be true of people in general but it seems the trend is especially strong with minority groups...

But now the poetry. If you want more try here.

TO JOHN KEATS, POET, AT SPRING TIME

(For Carl Van Vechten)

I cannot hold my peace, John Keats;
There never was a spring like this;
It is an echo, that repeats
My last year's song and next year's bliss.
I know, in spite of all men say
Of Beauty, you have felt her most.
Yea, even in your grave her way
Is laid. Poor, troubled, lyric ghost,
Spring never was so fair and dear
As Beauty makes her seem this year.

I cannot hold my peace, John Keats,
I am as helpless in the toil
Of Spring as any lamb that bleats
To feel the solid earth recoil
Beneath his puny legs. Spring beats
her tocsin call to those who love her,
And lo! the dogwood petals cover
Her breast with drifts of snow, and sleek
White gulls fly screaming to her, and hover
About her shoulders, and kiss her cheek,
While white and purple lilacs muster
A strength that bears them to a cluster
Of color and odor; for her sake
All things that slept are now awake.

And you and I, shall we lie still,
John Keats, while Beauty summons us?
Somehow I feel your sensitive will
Is pulsing up some tremulous
Sap road of a maple tree, whose leaves
Grow music as they grow, since your
Wild voice is in them, a harp that grieves
For life that opens death's dark door.
Though dust, your fingers still can push
The Vision Splendid to a birth,
Though now they work as grass in the hush
Of the night on the broad sweet page of the earth.

"John Keats is dead," they say, but I
Who hear your full insistent cry
In bud and blossom, leaf and tree,
Know John Keats still writes poetry.
And while my head is earthward bowed
To read new life sprung from your shroud,
Folks seeing me must think it strange
That merely spring should so derange
My mind. They do not know that you,
John Keats, keep revel with me, too.

ETSU's great race survey

Blogging from school everyone. Shh, I can't afford to be seen with radicals.

Edit: Fixed formatting. I still think it's stupid.

I just noticed an email from the school...well...just read it:

Mandatory New Federal Ethnicity and Race Information Collection

Changes to federal requirements for collecting ethnicity and race information require ETSU to resurvey all students, faculty, and staff for this information.

Beginning Monday, April 6, 2009, all users (students, faculty, and staff) are required to log in to GoldLink and provide the following information:

1. Ethnic Category



Do you consider yourself to be of Hispanic/Latino/Spanish origin?

· Yes

· No



2. Race Category



Select one or more of the following racial categories to describe yourself.

· White

· Black or African American

· Asian

· American Indian

· Alaskan Native

· Native Hawaiian or other Pacific Islander

Once this information is submitted, users will return to regular GoldLink services and will not be asked for this information again.

Thank you in advance for participating in this required federal survey,

Offices of Human Resources and Enrollment Services

East Tennessee State University



....What?! NO SIR.

That survey is stupid stupid stupid! What the fuck is an "American Indian"? Why do I have to provide info on any Latin@ ancestory? Explain to me the differences between Latino, Hispanic, AND Spanish (LOL)? Why am I black OR african american like I have a choice? Why so few racial categories? Why no European? If I'm Russian am I Asian or White? Why is this information needed?!

After being called a negro by that stupid student census, the government is going to have to come to my dorm room and A) Deliver an apology B) Ask me nicely with cookies and root beer to fill out anything else ever again! I refuse! I am NOT participating in this fuckery!

They don't want your apologies, Burners

You may have heard this story by now, I found it via Stuff White People Do myself but the comments from debunkingwhite make me feel so much better.

You absolutely have to read this story if you've ever cared about anything in the world:

Burners Torched Over Native Party

Some choice quotes:

Caapi said his team's hearts were in the right place and they did not intend to steal Indian culture. "I think everyone here and inside of our community at large know how poorly promoted this event was in its iconography, in its text, in the affiliations and implications. I think perhaps after tonight the intent will be recognized for the good heartedness it was and the absence of anything resembling cultural appropriation."

But for every apology, the group often inserted a foot into its mouth. Some Burners said they'd been trained by shamans to build altars, others sang racist childhood songs, or noted the lack of Native Americans at Burning Man (which occurs on an Indian reservation). Others asked for Indian help with their Burning Man projects, prompting a Hopi woman to go off.

"I'm trying to articulate my feelings as best I can without completely losing it," she said. "What we do is not an artistic expression. And you don't have artistic license to take little pieces here and there and do what you want with it. That's something you people don't understand, probably never will understand.

"Name your little villages whatever you want, but don't ever associate it with Native Americans. Call it the Crystal Ranch or something. Call it the Mars Ranch. If you want to be spiritual — go be a Druid or something."

That's pretty much it. I am not kidding you, I laughed out loud in real life. Sure it's cruel, but goddamn I hate over privileged fake-liberal white folks, especially when they REFUSE TO RECOGNIZE THIS. These Native American groups do not WANT your apology and from all looks of it, they don't care. They don't care about your tears because you didn't care about their anger. Now they're calling you to your face and you're sad? Go the fuck home.

Do you want to know why? Because in the end, you ultimately get it so incredibly wrong:

"Elaine" on Tribe.net writes: "Dude, don't kiss anymore ass! [Visionary Village] did nothing wrong in the first place. This whole thing is blown completely out of context and out of control. The public apologies shouldn't have to be made. Its not like the theme camp was screaming some Michael 'Kramer' Richard shit at the tribe. Sorry this is just ridiculous."

Anquoe says the non-party was a rare example of effective conflict resolution that is unique to the Bay Area, and he commends Caapi for their actions. Those bystanders who claim overreaction should reverse the situation.

"If Indian people put together a fund-raiser advertised to benefit the Catholic Church where we did our version of a Catholic Church ceremony and there wasn't actually a fund-raiser — you know what the reaction to it would be in the white community!?" he asked. "People would take legal actions against us, it would be crazy, it would be far beyond not having a party. As it is, these kids didn't get to have their party and they had to listen to Indian people being angry and that's about right for the injury they caused the Native community."

Caapi maintains that the fund-raiser for the Native American Church was genuine, and will be providing the names and phone numbers of the event's beneficiaries as soon as he can collect them all.

I'm not Native American. Well, not fully anyway, I do have some Native American blood. So I won't act like I speak for Cherokee or Blackfoot, or any repressed minority but myself. But this is the type of shit I think of whenever I see any half assed apology from the majority to a minority group, whether it be from Congress or Mrs Johnson down the street. You don't mean it and not only do you not mean it but you fully continue to BANK your rights to warp culture wherever you go and SEE NOTHING WRONG. You, Oh Privileged One, can't seem to wrap your head around ANGER at being kicked in the gut so many times and for what.

Shit like this is why I don't care or trust.

See, I started out laughing then I just got pissed. I can laugh again though, white kids crying over not being able to appropriate Native American culture? That's my shit.

To gripe or not to gripe over American Lit (to my white friends)

Sup from subspace,

It seems I've been in a bit of a posting drain lately. Oh sure I still update daily with something random as hell, but the drafts are piling up and I've just been unmotivated as...I don't know WHAT.

Saturday I was so unmotivated I had to have someone go eat with me. It was sadness. More on that in a second.

As you good folks know, either via twitter or my posts (scroll a few months for the hate), I hate my AmLit class. I unabashedly sit in the very front row RIGHT IN FRONT of the man and threaten him with my eyes. I meanmug and side-eye at the risk of going crosseyed or permanently blind. He probably senses this as we rarely make eye contact anymore. I've totally disengaged from this shit not only because of our caucasian malecentric reading list (I've seen him purposefully skip over women and people of color, just cause) but because of his...well, is it privilege to just sort of assume that everyone in the class has a grandparent that grew up/owns a farm therefore we're all instilled with intricate agricultural knowledge? I kid you not. You know what, fine. Maybe I just hate him in general.

(Okay, granted my dad IS from the country side...but that's not a farm)

The professor rambles on and on and has developed a tendency to start injecting religion where there is none indicated. I can't even pinpoint anymore the issues I have with that class, and I decided a while ago to just stop complaining and read something else, since my grade is currently invincible in that class. I fully believe in the power of a library and my ability to just find random stuff to read. I can't just wait for diversity, I gotta go get it. That's a lesson in life for everyone!

Anyway, I've vaguely touched on this issue, mostly to white friends of mine, because it seems (unfortunately in a lot of cases) white friends are all I have in the moment. Woefully unaware white friends. I haven't dared mentioned my displeasure with the whitecentric list but, oh, last week it came out to a person I don't particularly like, and she giggled.

"Who are more people going to know, Robert Frost or WEB Dubois?" she said behind a glass. Not missing a beat I laughed in turn and said, "You should know both" and kept right on going. She faltered, I glared.

Huh. Well going back to Saturday, as I was leaving with my dining buddy we stopped upon another friend of ours working the info desk. As we were talking we got around to discussing our English classes, and I again brought up my displeasure with my AmLit reading list in addition to the fact that the teacher just sucks. When I exclaimed "WHITE DUDES!" and boring not too long after, yeah I got a bit of a look. Then one of the girls just went on to say some mildly racist/fatphobic junk later on in the conversation (don't worry, I called her out...what the fuck is speaking Asian?)

I'm beginning to wonder if even soft activism is just lost on the people I tend to associate with--again I guess because I'm their safe negro--and if I should just give up. You see, I have no choice but to live my skin color daily. It kind of follows me around and the bad things that go with my skin color? Also stalk me. I wish I could just shed it and hang it up on the door every night but sadly I can't. Things stick out to me when I see myself unreflected in my most favorite of subjects, let alone when I know damn well there's a good portion of our reading dedicated to people of color. I suppose I'm impatient. I guess we'll never get to it. I suppose I shouldn't care so much since I'm going to have to take Am Lit I next semester, and I should be lucky to get slave narratives.

So I go on and on. But I'm a little tired of bringing up the itty bitty and the biggie things that irritate ME so much only to have either laughter as a result or at the least a subtle "what's wrong with you? Why can't you be quiet? What are you talking about?!" in response.

Such is the life of people of color, we seem to be the only ones that understand that. And yeah, my phrasing is correct and you read me right.

Ehhh. As carefully as I try to pick my classes, it seems I'm benefiting more and more from just tuning out of them and learning things on my own, as it usually is. Sigh.

Random movie flashback: Tales from the Hood

Or: Get your activism on...or else.

Part I of II, I felt it was getting a little long as it turns out I had more to say about the movie than I originally thought. Oh well! Gives me something to do.

So, I believe Saturday or Sunday morning according to my Twits, I had a random movie flashback and found myself watching Trilogy of Terror. You know what the fuck I'm talking about, what with the frightening dolls and Karen Black. Unfortunately, it still terrifies the life out of me, it seems. I was eating my grapes aghast the whole time. Just...uuuugh.

I really like anthology movies & TV shows done right, unfortunately they rarely are *sigh* I think the last good anthology type I've seen was Three...Extremes, and that fucked me up for some time as only asian horror can do.

Anyway, while I was feeling nostalgic, I drifted over to my another movie from my childhood. I kid you not, I think just about everyone I knew had this movie on tape somewhere in the house to unleash upon unsuspecting victims. And again it still scares the bejeesus out of me without much effort. If you didn't notice the title I'm talking about 1995's Tales from the Hood (as in, not the crypt you know). Goddamnit, it's something about little black dolls running after you that's just...unsettling as hell.

I've seen the movie again at different stages of my life, from being sheet-pissingly frightened as a child to being so-so apathetic towards it as an adolescent, to...being afraid of it again, I have no idea why. Umm...

I will tell you that there's something way deeper here besides little black dolls running after the KKK dude...the stories. Rusty Cundieff, who also directed Fear of a Black Hat and somehow found his way onto Chocolate News (I guess it's the David Alan Grier connection) and...just believe me when I say you know this dude--he manages to successfully, I think, combine supernatural horror with the horrors of reality.

What do I mean? Well, I mean the stories. Other than being a completely black cast (which is pretty rare for a horror anthology--shit, did I say rare, I mean never) I think this is what truly makes the movie stand out. If you haven't actually seen the movie before I won't spoil it too much for you, even though for the most part they're pretty straight forward. BUT...I just...weirdly contradicted myself, anyway--

The movie juggles several prominent & horrible aspects of the black community like gang violence, domestic abuse, drug abuse, and, of course, racism in different forms. The wrap-around story is that of three gang members on their way to pick up drugs from a funeral home (and they didn't question this, for real) and they get roped into hearing the mortician--played by the naturally frightening Clarence Williams III--and his strange tales. It's a weird set up that will have you either rolling your eyes half way through or still wondering WTF to the end but oh well. It's not a great movie or a perfect movie, but by damn it's original and pretty successful at being both scary (well, to me...dolls) and thought provoking.

The first story, Rogue Cop Revelation, is about extremely crooked white cops who take their new black recruit Clarence on patrol and the white cops end up beating a known (fictional) black civil rights activist to death and smearing his name posthumously. Clarence, who only sat by and watched this brutal beating and never reported it, ends up resigning and turning to demon booze to cure his, well, demons. Until a mural of the slain activist, Martin Moorehouse, compels him to bring his murderers to his grave for revenge, and zombie hijinks ensue.

I think this story probably ends up being the most successful because it's so damn close to life without going over the top, except for the, uh, zombie. Corrupt white cops killing a black man trying to make change? Minus the whole undead revenge thing (and the, uh, creative way in which one of the officers is killed) you can't tell me that shit doesn't sound awful familiar. The ending is also rather unexpected, in a good way...let's just say that no one really escapes Moorehouse's revenge, and it leaves you just thinking about it. It's not so much the undead soul that gets you, it's the fact that this DOES happen, sometimes right under our noses, always unfairly, and will unfortunately probably continue happening unless some serious change comes about *sigh*

The second story deals with domestic abuse and child abuse in a way I think is pretty damn believable. It's called Boys Do Get Bruised and it's about a little boy, Walter, dealing with a "monster" in his life. Well...I take that back, the story's believable but the way it's carried out kind of made me cringe at times. Mostly the teacher, I was wondering a few times where the hell he got off. And...yeah those signs of abuse were pretty damn obvious I thought. Goodness. The acting also just took a random dip in this piece. There's also a little not-totally-obvious hueism going on (dark skin=bad light skin=savior). Anyway, Walter finds a way to express himself through art, which proves to be deadly. Pretty good, but deadly. Boy musta had weak bones.

Aside from the annoying ass acting I found this also pretty successful in conveying its message. It's about a boy dealing with his abusive home life the only way he can--he draws the "monsters" he wants to destroy then crumples the paper up, effectively mangling them it seems. First he takes his vengeance out on a bully then on the real monster in his life. I felt particularly close to it because art & stories is the way I tried to express what was going on in my life at various times. I still remember the rather gruesome pictures of women and heads on stakes that I used to conjure *shudder* it's disturbing. The only place this fails I think is length. It's probably the shortest story and doesn't really bother to get all into the story, just abused boy & savior teacher. Not a lot to go on and it makes it pretty cliche. And the...uh...fight scenes. David Alan Grier was apparently using the force on people.

That's the first two stories...I'll talk about the other two later on in the week.

Ah, gay history erasure: Black Edition

So, for what's probably going to amount to be a pretty short post, I've thought about this a lot. What to say?

First off, I'm having a blog memory fail because I wanted to show you all a particular & interesting article I saw a few days ago that made me think of this...but now I can't find it *sad* goddamnit Xands.

AHAHAHAHAHA I FOUND IT. It's was Kai Wright's essay called "Queering Hansberry" here. The full essay is included with that link. Thank you very much Google.

That may turn out to be okay though because what I'm about to say isn't exactly new *shrug* as you may tell by the title. By damn I might just have to switch my major to history 'fore too long. It is a great interest of mine, by the way, even if I wouldn't call myself a buff. Is it so wrong to want to see all the facets of history represented equally?

History just focuses on the winners, no, and we are not the winners, that's for sure. If I had that blog entry on hand I wanted to show *sigh* this would make sense, but for the past couple of days I've been wondering about the black community and it's erasure of LGBT history. Specifically the black community because in this case, I mean we're doing it to ourselves.

When my history class last semester snuck (yeah I said snuck, do something about it) homosexuality into our lessons I was amazed and excited. Holy shit he just acknowledged the history of gays in the military. No shit! Too bad that professor gave such drama and is now gone. Then, as you know, I'm in African American history class now...

Part of our grade in that class is our ability to do oral¹ and we all more or less chose a topic in the beginning of the year--a person to give a report on. We ran a little late even for being a small class but I think everyone that needed to has performed, we've gone from Reconstruction to the Harlem Renaissance so we're about in the 50s now.

Now...the reports don't have to be terribly thorough, just THOROUGH ENOUGH for about 5 minutes. Fine. One person gave a report on Langston Hughes and I was...disturbed at a lot of info that was missing (again, thorough enough). But while I was taking notes I mused on the first time I heard that Langston is/might have been (jury's still out of course) a closeted gay. As well as his potential Communist ties, for some reason we just like to glide over that. Then another person gave a report on Claude McKay who was bisexual--again I wondered, "Huh." Then someone neglected to mention that Paul Robeson was blacklisted for alleged communist ties. WTF, pick up people.

The reports were thorough enough. I wondered after the class, a little before my migraine from hell, SHOULD the reports have mentioned Langston & Claude's respective homosexuality & bisexuality? Was it trivia or an important facet of both of their lives? Hmm.

Those are only two examples though...the blog entry I'm still looking for references Lorraine Hansberry, writer of Raisin in the Sun. Did you know she had LGBT community ties as well? If you did you knew better than I did...it seems that aspect of her life is just washed over.

It's pretty irritating and disturbing how easy it is to just wash over the gay & lesbian history of blacks. We're already marginalized for our skin color, just Cthulhu help you if you've got something else going on over there. People of color, it seems, are in general at more risk of coming out that closet than our white counterparts *shrug* it's not a great situation...with blacks especially it seems our strong community ties to the Church seem to be at the unfortunate root of it. Many of us take that "love the sinner hate the sin" garbage a little too far and people suffer.

It's a curious thing. I wonder if my African American History class will be open enough--by open I mean timewise--to include just a little LGBT history in our curriculum. As we get closer to the 60s & 70s it won't be as easy to deny it I don't think, it's got to come up in there somewhere. I hope it does.


_{Note¹: I'm actually worried about how often I can get away with saying that.}

Rocking while black

I have a real post coming up soon. It's just that...well

*teary eyes*

I HAVEN'T SHOWERED PROPERLY IN DAYS. DAYS. *points furiously at clothing fortress just under window* WHY WON'T IT GO DOWN?!

So have some music. It...sort of has to do with some shit I want to get into later. It's Living Colour and King's X!

I see you don't quite get racism: Racism in Hip Hop

Wow, did you see that? I went a day without a post! Frankly I was busy sleeping.

...which has never stopped me before.

I just wanted to do a little post real quick, obviously I'm not dead if you've seen my Continuing Thoughts over there. Also my contact info is now at the bottom of the page in a lil box for your extreme inconvenience. Working on that.

So let me get to the meat of this. I'm going to try my damnedest tomorrow to attend a seminar the school's having about, well, Racism in Hip Hop. It has a really weak name like Racism in Hip Hop in our so called post racial era, I'll get back to you on that.

Let me just say that...I'm a punk. I don't know when, I don't know why, but when I was a youngin' I got sick of gangsta rap and the early onset of Lil Wayne (I SAW it coming but y'all didn't listen) and switched over to the local classic rock station. My life was changed. More Clash & Siouxsie Sioux than Sex Pistols, you'll often also hear me crying out, "BIRTH! SCHOOL! WORK! DEATH!" than the latest Diva Beyonce tune. I'm a punk in the deviant sense, I don't listen to the music black folks are supposed to listen to (don't get me started on how without black folks there would be no rock).

I like rock music. I like industrial, punk, classic rock. Even in the rawk & rolllll community I'm an anomaly for my tastes and, well, me skin color. It's kind of sad but what part of reality isn't. You'll hear many of my "alternative" (I'll get to that in a later day) black ladies & gents bemoan more or less this same fact: we're black, we listen to white music, white kids think we're cool in that token way, while claiming not to care. Ask your friends. I'm telling you.

So does that mean I don't know what's going on in hip hop? Nope, it does not. Recently, in the past few years or so I've more or less refound my connection with hip hop and R&B. I stuck to "old skool" but I eventually moved on up and realized that, while mainstream is garbage and always will be garbage, you know, if you look under the surface, hip hop deserves much more credit.

Hip hop embraced me much more than the rawk & rolllll community ever did and probably ever will. It seems that hanging out with the folks that shared the same musical interests as me, obviously, shared a completely different world view. Especially about the vile black hip hop which they decree as crap, racist, sexist & misogynist, and generally inferior to the Lawd Rawk & Rollllll.

Coming from both sides of the fence (did I mention I listen to baroque), I kind of laugh at the assertion that these rabid fans make about their hated nemesis, because...uhh...rock does a lot of the same things. It's misogynist, sexist, occasionally backhandedly racist, and a lot of it is crap. Don't front, yes it is. In any era. I don't care, turn on the radio right now and tell me you could stand it for three minutes.

Music differences kill me. So what do I mean when I say hip hop embraces me? I mean that hip hop can incorporate all of my interests: rock, trip hop, trance, eastern influences...as for whether or not the rawk and rollllll camp can do this as well, sure they can, but it never feels quite genuine. I suppose it's just my current reconnection with a music form I now love that's making me think this way, but I think it's true. Hip hop also, strangely enough, has a lot less annoying antagonistic "liberal progressive" head-scratching racists, and I get tired of those. Go fig.

So, the racism in hip hop seminar. I'm rather interested to see it because notice I didn't say racism doesn't exist in hip hop, but I'd like to see how the speakers address this and in what form & context. There's lots of problems with hip hop, even the underground/thinking person's hip hop and I'm curious in how we fix these things. With my long lost mistress, rawk & rolllll, I'm...less inclined, because, sometimes, some things just need to be left behind.

When/if I attend the seminar (it happens when I get back from work if I'm not exhaaaussteeed) I'll try to fix this up a bit, and I'll try to fix it up in general. I was afraid that if I stored it in drafts I'd forget all my awesome points, I'm not a good draftist :/

Run, don't walk, to the Tell It WOC Speak blog carnvial

Shit, I knew there was something I forgot to shamelessly advertise today.

If, at some point, you've ever thought for a moment that you love me, or at the very least don't hate me a lot, I implore you to drop by and stay a while at Tell It WOC Speak. Created by Renee of Womanist Musings it's a blog carnival featuring writing by women of color and allies.

To better explain, the opening paragraph why not:

Welcome everyone to what I hope will be the first of many blog carnivals dedicated to the voices of women of colour and our allies. In every sphere of life women of colour are marginalized and exploited. Often, when we attempt to engage to change our circumstances we are silenced.

This carnival is our attempt to give voice to our shared issues. We have a strong history of activism and organizing and it is in this vein that we have chosen this space to highlight the various ways we have attempted to carve out a niche in the online world. We shall not be silenced, and our dreams shall be realized. We are women of quality and worth.

I'm so ridiculously happy that this came about and all the topics covered & authors covering them are looking excellent. So let us run, not walk and go get ourselves some of that elusive awareness.

That Obligatory Black History Post

Why he's so mad for? Why he gotta have it?
Cause I slaved my whole life, now I'm the master

-Kanye West, "Swagger Like Us"

"Xands..." you ask fearfully, checking my pulse. "This title says 'black history post'. Why the hell are you quoting Kanye West?"

And you'd be right to be worried, but I swear I'm going to explain my sudden lapse of reasoning. I haven't been feeling very substantial this week but suddenly I'm reinvigorated!

As we know, February is Black History Month...I think I like the alternative, Black History Awareness Month. I like the "awareness" bit. It's one thing to just know history--but if you aren't aware and aren't able to apply it daily well then...

Every year without fail I get someone, usually white, perplexed and distressed out of their mind--perhaps even wringing their hands--asking me, "Oh Xands, why do blacks get a history month?! You'd all be offended if whites had a history month!"

EVERY

YEAR.

EVERY GODDAMN YEAR someone asks me that question, and it doesn't seem like simple explanations are ever enough. Try it, I'm serious. Next time someone asks you why there's a black history month, don't even give them an in depth answer. Just say something like, "Well because every other month is white history month." Do some sarcastic air quotes. They'll turn from "understanding" to "scoffing" real quick. Or maybe it's just my so-called friends. I think it might be the air quotes that get's em riled.

I find myself quite sensitive around February for that very same goddamn reason. You know, if you don't particularly care for the month, well don't do anything for it. It's not like MLK Day, Presidents Day, Labor Day...you still go about business as usual. Don't learn anything about black people in the world. Go about your usual day. It's not hard.

But do not, under any circumstances, ask me or your black friend and expect to get some miraculous in-depth answer that will explain the universe, damnit. You will get a simple one, and it will be so simple that it has clearly flown over your head.

I tried that "because it's white history month every other month" response a few times, and usually I'm called stupid or ignorant, first to my surprise and then to my extreme cynicism and lack of faith in anyone/anything. I come to expect it. What is it, ask a stupid question get a stupid answer? Yeah.

You gotta have a fever for somethin' good, come on y'all... Q-Tip, "Fever"

Alright then, enough grandstanding, why then? Why are blacks sooo special that we get our own month to learn about ourselves? As much as I get tired of repeating this shit, I will say it every month all year until it finally starts sinking in; until folks stop giving me that blank look about February when I say I'm heading up to the Culp center for a seminar on racism & hip hop (well, I'll probably never stop catching flak for that); until folks stop scratching their heads over Women's History, Hispanic Heritage Month, GLBT History month, and stop wondering why white folks don't get everything.

Right? Well. It's the way you treat us. Okay? See, that was easy. What do I mean? Well shit, it's no secret that history books are only just being rewritten to include more achievements by those of us not white straight males. Accurately. Blacks weren't slaves forever until the Civil War and then jump into the 60s. Women didn't just vanish until WWII then cue feminism. Chinese have been in the country forevers and evers. I mean really.

Oh but it's not just history books that are being re-written, every year literature anthologies get updated to include women, blacks, chinese, japanese, mexicans, native americans...art books, there was something between Eurocentric Renaissance art then, you know, cue Modernism, Post Modernism, Futurism.

You'll never understand why things are the way they are now without history. I assume most of us here would agree with that, but when it comes to learning about a certain group's history that fact seems to break down and it's all "Reeeally, a whole moonth? *weep*"

So that's really it. Black History Awareness, you either do it or you don't. You either get it or you don't. I'm at the point in my life where if someone asks me to explain this phenomenon one more time I might actually resort to physical violence (just sayin). But I'm recommending, if you've never done it, that you at least try to comprehend, and learn about black history be you black, white, native, anything in between.

As a side note, I didn't bother even going there with why BHA is in February, 28/9 days, the damn suckiest day of the year. Not even gonna go there... _{it does fail though.}

Another week, more failure

Angels and ministers of grace defend us!
Be thou a spirit of health or goblin damn'd,
Bring with thee airs from heaven or blasts from hell,
Be thy intents wicked or charitable,
Thou comest in such a questionable shape...

--Hamlet, Act I Scene IV.

You know, perhaps I really DO hate everything and everyone.

This week has been interesting, snow days aside. It feels like school never really let out of session.

I've been greeted with puzzling ignorance.

First I should mention my African American history class has been integrated--it's me and another black student, and now there's 3 black folks total in the class, 3 minorities in all! Buuugh. I did make a fuss about it at first but eh, as time goes on t'is not a big deal as I'd have you think.

We were awful energetic Thursday morning (it's a Tues/Thurs class btw) and the teacher ended up engaging in my favorite activity of ILLUSION SHATTERING.

I really was paying attention while we talked about Reconstruction. Our Professora mentioned that Lincoln's plan for the Reconstruction of the "rebel states" (whooo) was for the southern states to rewrite their constitutions and add a section to abolish slavery. Naturally the Southern states weren't too happy with this and--

Wait, Ma'am, I thought slavery was already abolished by the 14th Amendment?

Nope, that didn't come until afterwards--and it didn't actually abolish slavery at all.

Indeed that was the 13th.

Oh. Wait, then what did the Emancipation Proclamation do?

Oh dear. That's where the glass started tinkling as our professor explained just what the Emancipation Proclamation did--which, in the scheme of things, wasn't a whole lot.

Whoa. Whooooa, what? Now, don't get me wrong, it was an important step forward. Lincoln said "Alright, this is silly, stop practicing slavery Southern states." Right? And the slaves were freed--for a short time, as we learn!

...Oh, but no. See, the problem was the Southern states had already seceded by this point and didn't recognize Lincoln as an authority from, I dunno, Captain Ahab. The other thing was, while this order was sent to stop slavery in the rebellious states, what about the ones that DID NOT rebel or were otherwise part of the Union? Yes, not all northern states condemned slavery--Kentucky (well, okay it's not really a northern state), Maryland, Delaware--the order was just for the rebellious states.

Ah, you could hear the glass shattering as the class had a bit of a light bulb moment. I found it all really interesting myself--not that I'm authority on what the Emancipation Proclamation did or did not do, but as I understood from my 11th grade US Hist HONORS (!) class, it was actually the 13th amendment that abolished ALL slavery (whether that really stuck or not is for another day though).

So that was interesting. What was interesting Friday was a confused young fellow I know coming up to me and telling me black people don't eat sushi. Because--I don't actually know his basis for that, as I know plenty of people all over that like to eat it raw.

I more expected him to ask about my WHOLE breakfast, which was sushi, Raisin Bran Crunch, and chocolate soy milk. And he keeps asking about the "thing on my head". I've explained what it is and I'm not particularly keen on explaining it any more because when I wear it, it's a damn head scarf. What does it LOOK LIKE? HAHAHAHA, you aren't funny dipwad.

I didn't go off on him or anything, I just stared at him in my awe at his randomness; he admitted he was joking and scampered off. I really can't have that so early in the morning before classes. You know, he's a nice guy and I'm sure he's well-meaning, but inside I am deeply mean-spirited and early in the morning I can't tolerate much. So he can take a long walk off a tall mountain.

And that was my week *blink*

California BART police shoot unarmed suspect?

This is a really weird story and my first day seeing it. I'm sure I haven't seen it before, I don't know though...

First off, since I don't live anywhere near Cali, as far as I can see BART stands for Bay Area Rapid Transit. Umm, not sure why or how they have their own police force, but that's interesting.

Strangely enough, I found this story on the Cracked.com forums. Although the forums do have serious discussions going on, Cracked is usually a humor website (formerly a magazine). Even stranger I found this vid in their "mirth canal" section, which I think is just for videos in general.

Anyway, I digress. Let's take a look at this story with the two links I've found there.

BART appeals for calm as footage shows shooting

BART's police chief asked for patience from the public on Sunday after video footage surfaced showing one of his officers fatally shooting an unarmed man who was on the ground on a station platform on New Year's Day, and after an attorney for the dead man's family said he planned to sue the transit agency for $25 million.

Chief Gary Gee said he, too, had seen video images of the shooting of Oscar Grant, a 22-year-old supermarket worker from Hayward. But Gee said he found the footage to be inconclusive, and he said his investigators still needed to interview a key witness - the officer himself.

That officer, a two-year veteran, has not been publicly identified and has been placed on routine administrative leave. BART officials have said only that his handgun discharged at about 2:15 a.m. Thursday at the Fruitvale Station in Oakland and that the bullet struck the unarmed Grant, who had been detained with several others.

And now we'll look at this section, which is baffling to me:

Officials have not said whether the officer intended to shoot Grant. One source familiar with the investigation said BART is looking into a number of issues, including whether the officer had meant to fire his Taser stun gun rather than his gun. Alameda County prosecutors are conducting their own investigation, as is standard in officer-involved shootings.

Granted, they're only looking at that as a possibility, but...dude. I know a stun gun and a hand gun look and react just a like and everything (hint: No, no they don't) but seriously. I've got a Youtube video below this and there's some vid in the link, check out the footage. A stun gun for what? It doesn't look like the guy was moving around any except when he starts doing that rocking motion, but otherwise it looks like the victim was cooperating. Obviously I wasn't there and that's just my perception on it though. I just don't think a stun gun was necessary to get a dude who's already face-down on the floor to hold still. And there's like more than one cop around him anyway, he wasn't going to get up with all that force, that'd have been stupid and unlikely.

Also...most actual stun guns I've seen are yellow, and your standard police issue gun is black. Was the cop under duress and honestly didn't notice that he had the completely wrong weapon? And why was it pointed at the man's head?

I really do think this just was an accident, a stupid and senseless and tragic one, but an accident nonetheless. No one in their right of mind (or even not in their right of mind) is going to purposefully whip out a gun and shoot someone in the head in a crowded bus station with a horde of your fellow officers just standing there.

Edit: I was just going to delete that paragraph, but I'll let it stand. You know what? I'm actually starting to doubt that this was an accident. I think "mistake" is the more fitting word.

An accident would imply that this officer didn't mean to shoot this young man. I'm really starting to wonder--first off, he had to unholster the gun. Then he would have to remove the safety unless he really was just walking around with it free to fire anytime. Then he would have to squeeze the trigger, unless you're...I dunno, the fucking Rifleman, gun triggers don't typically go off with just a tap.

In combination with guns typically looking nothing like stun guns (this isn't always the case but still) and considering all the officers around this man, WHEN was anyone going to say, "Wait a minute, that's not your Taser!" Or better yet, at what point did HE stop and realize, "Wait, this isn't a Taser!" I actually still want to know what he was doing pointing at the man's head anyway. Wouldn't you typically zap someone in the side or else an area NON-DAMN-LETHAL?

Plus the fact that he has resigned to avoid questioning it seems, this shit is just looking curiouser and curiouser.

So, you may be wondering if this story has blown up any more, and it's looking that way. Death threats are never the way to go, folks, no matter how angry you might be.

To end all that, accidental as this is, this police officer shot a young man and I hope to see some justice done on behalf of the family. And now, video of the incident from Youtube. I have to say it is a little disturbing so I wouldn't blame you for not wanting to see it.

Edit: Interesting. The cop has resigned according to this.

Well I could say two things about that. The first being that he's pretty much freaking out over the incident and doesn't want to give some sort of statement. The second...he's freaking out and doesn't want to give a statement, AND is being mildly suspect. Curiouser. What's really going on guys...

By the time I get to Arizona

I have to admit, there's no real reason I'm posting this song other than I like Public Enemy, and I was just listening to it at the time. Soo...share.

Well, as you may know Arizona is still the only state (I think) that chooses not to celebrate MLK day. Even though it makes them look real funny it's the state's decision to do what it wants...I've always wondered why, REALLY why they chose to be all non-conformist and shit though.

Apparently Chuck D knows, though. (Warning: If you've never seen the video, it's...uh, violent.)

I'm countin' down to the day deservin'
Fittin' for a king
I'm waitin' for the time when I can
Get to Arizona
'Cause my money's spent on
The goddamn rent
Neither party is mine not the
Jackass or the elephant

20,000 nig niggy nigas in the corner
Of the cell block but they come
From California
Population none in the desert and sun
Wit' a gun cracker
Runnin' things under his thumb
Starin' hard at the postcards
Isn't it odd and unique?
Seein' people smile wild in the heat
120 degree
'Cause I wanna be free
What's a smilin' face?
When the whole state's racist
Why want a holiday F--k it 'cause I wanna
So what if I celebrate it standin' on a corner
I ain't drinkin' no 40
Thinkin' time wit' a nine
Until we get some land
Call me the trigger man
Looki lookin' for the governor
Huh he ain't lovin' ya
But here to trouble ya
He's rubbin' ya wrong
Get the point come along
And he can get to the joint
I urinated on the state
While I was kickin' this song

Yeah, he appear to be fair
The cracker over there
He try to keep it yesteryear
The good ol' days
The same ol' ways
That kept us dyin'
Yes, you me myself and I indeed
What he need is a nosebleed
Read between the lines
Then you see the lie
Politically planned
But understand that's all she wrote
When we see the real side
That hide behind the vote
They can't understand why he the man
I'm singin' 'bout a king
They don't like it
When I decide to mic it
Wait I'm waitin' for the date
For the man who demands respect
'Cause he was great c'mon
I'm on the one mission
To get a politician
To honor or he's a gonner
By the time I get to Arizona

Well I got 25 days to do it
If a wall in the sky
Just watch me go through it
'Cause I gotta do what I gotta do
PE number one
Gets the job done
When it's done and over
Was because I drove' er
Through all the static
Not stick but automatic
That's the way it is
He gotta get his
Talin' MLK
Gonna find a way
Make the state pay
Lookin' for the day
Hard as it seems
This ain't no damn dream
Gotta know what I mean
It's team against team
Catch the light beam

So I pray
I pray everyday
I do and praise Jah the maker
Lookin' for culture
I got but not here
From Jamaica
Pushin' and shakin' the structure
Bringin' down the babylon
Hearin' the sucker
That make it hard for the brown
The hard Boulevard
I need now
More than ever now
Who's sittin' on my freedom
Oppressor people beater
Piece of the pick
We picked a piece
Of land that we deservin' now
Reparation a piece of the nation
And damn he got the nerve
Another nigga they say and classify
We want too much
My peep plus the whole nine is mine
Don't think I even double dutch
Here's a brother my attitude hit 'em
Hang 'em high
Blowin' up the 90s started tickin' 86
When the blind get a mind
Better start and earn while we sing it
Now
There will be the day we know those down and who will go
By the time I get to Arizona

What's up TN?: Gone Too Soon

So, if you live in middle TN and you're anything like me, you usually don't pay much never mind to the front page of the Tennessean. Or the back pages. Hell, you'd go straight for the funny pages or the TV schedule.

But, I came across this interesting series of articles by accident (the paper was about to be thrown away) entitled "Gone Too Soon". It's a look at the freakishly high--like third world country high--infant mortality rate in TN. This was something I had no idea about but the article also hits you with the fact that TN is fighting for the "most unhealthy state" position and it also dips into the issues of poverty and, naturally, race. Like racism.

So let's look at these articles (I'm warning you, they are rather depressing). First though, you'll probably want to read the series for yourself so hopefully this link will take you to the special. Then you can click on "skip to articles" and off we go!

When you read the articles you'll see two factors mentioned a lot: poverty and stress. Poverty prevents women from eating the right foods they need to ensure their child's health. Poverty also effects working women: women with low-paying jobs are less likely to either have insurance or be able to take off time from work (or both of these). Poverty can lead to stress which can negatively effect the health of the child, could lead to miscarriages.

The series also mentions genetics, especially in the third article on black infant mortality. I'll tell you that the first story I read of this series was the third article on black babies dying at a higher rate than white babies. And yeah mid TN does have a high concentration of black people but why do these infants die at a higher rate? According to the article doctors aren't totally sure: it could be genes, it could be environment, it could be neither of these. Add to that they aren't totally sure why white infants in the state die at a high rate than some countries way less developed than the US.

I have to admit that the theories of the third article concerning black women are a little problematic for me, when it starts delving into the "stereotypes" of blacks. Such as controlling the factors of drug abuse, smoking, drinking, lack of anything beyond a high school education. I mean, it's a little weird when you read it then read the story of the woman who lost her child despite fitting into none of these categories. That's where it mentions genetics as a possible theory then goes on to health care and lack of education.

Ah, now there's my pet thing: lack of education and access to health care. For one thing, I have no doubt it's lack of education like, oh, sex ed that's leading to the rise of teen pregnancies in this state. Of course they know how to do the act but what about the resulting pregnancy? What foods should you eat or which should you stay away from? What do you do when you're going into labor? You won't hear these things talked about in a class room and you damn sure won't hear them talked about between the parent and child.

And don't get me started on access to health care--or rather, I guess I will have to get started, but really health care in TN just seems to be...fucked. Hard to get to. If your job isn't insured you may very well be screwed. Medicare, Medicaid, TennCare...all those programs are so dipped in scandal, I'm not calling them completely worthless but they just aren't effective for everyone. Sigh.

Sigh again. You have all these potential factors: the fact that our state isn't healthy overall, lack of education, lack of community support, poverty, genetics, racism...and honestly I think I'll agree that it's ALL of these things that are effecting the high infant mortality in this state. In fact to me the biggest factor probably is a combination of lack of education and poverty if I was pressed. But, since I'm all solution oriented, now that we've written the article, read it and presented the facts, WHAT do we do about it?

In the third article and beyond you'll see costs mentioned a lot. At this point I wonder what the hell does a child's life cost. When I read these articles, while there are some factors that you just can't help, there is no reason for the infant mortality in this state to be so high. We should be more focused on saving these babies, not arguing on what millions of dollars this will cost. Of course I'm thinking ideally because realistically...well this is the truth. And it just makes me really upset but I am glad this series was written, to give these women a voice and to broadcast their problem on the masses who probably have no idea.

It's hard to wrap up an ongoing problem without thinking of what to do...what to do. We surely can address all of these things, it's just a willingness to do so I think. Willingness and ability, obviously. Just because we SHOULD spend money on this doesn't mean we can, which is a little scary to me. To me this also reflects a bigger problem in our country, that is our increasingly unhealthy lifestyles leading to these health problems. I may save a little existential rambling on that for another time, but for now I'll just let these articles speak for themselves a bit.

Class of '99

I'm going to try this embedding thing...there's two videos I want to share today, all the h4rdc0r3 blogging I wanted to do today was interrupted by daddy ~_~ he's here...and he's alive.

What you're about to watch is an episode of the show Night Gallery called the Class of '99. Like the Twilight Zone (also a Rod Serling joint, keep up), there's usually a good lesson to be learned from the Night Gallery: don't fuck around with mummies, don't fuck with haunted houses, don't try to kill your uncle and get his money then shaft his faithful butler, don't try to kill your mistress's husband with ear wigs... just about everything I've learned to do in life I've probably learned from one of these two shows, and Rifleman. And the Outer Limits.

In this episode, we look at the graduating class of 99 and their final exam as given by Vincent Price. Vincent. Price.

Anyway, there's not really a specific reason I wanted to show this other than I saw it last night, I like it damn you, and I think it's interesting: it's a sort of Orwellian look into a future where, apparently, the race of man has died or is dying out so obviously we must perpetuate ourselves, ergo we have created androids. We create them in our image and give them our morals. Of course, because most science fiction writers are the most cynical folk you'll ever meet (modern ones anyway), our "morals" usually include things like death, destruction, inferiority complexes...

This is actually a pretty common theme in sci-fi and it's one that Rod liked to play with an awful lot in TZ and in this episode of the Night Gallery. Watch the episode, especially that creepy monologue at the end.

Part 1



And here's the rest.

Actually, part two of that vid includes a little short as well...you don't have to watch it but it's funny :P

Blackface: It's not a hard concept

Alright *crick* I'm gonna try this post again.

Blackface: it isn't a hard concept to grasp is it? Black. Face. It explains itself. I think the people up here GET that part, they just don't understand WHY it's racist and, uh, BAD.

So some fraternity students (Sigma Phi Epsilon you ignorant bastards) decided they were going to paint their faces black for Halloween and dress up as rappers. And by the looks of things these ignorant souls aren't quite getting how that's inappropriate.

Blackface is the delicate art of painting one's face black. This would usually also include exaggerated African American features such as painting one's eyes and lips with a color to emphasize them. I don't think the frat guys did all that but they did get far enough to paint their faces black to make them appear African American. Let me also throw out that THERE ARE WHITE FUCKING RAPPERS AND THEY COULDN'T DRESS AS SOMEONE THEIR OWN COLOR?

Now here's the part that's killing me: not only do they not see this as racist (in the paper one of their frat brothers said, and I quote, "Imitation is the highest form of flattery" WHAT?!) but they want to be let off the hook because they didn't have racist intentions.

Again I say, uh, NEGATIVE.

Personally, I don't give a fuck what their intentions were supposed to be (and let's face it, I'm still not seeing how dressing up as a black person is "imitation" and "flattery" you dumb asses) what matters is that they did something offensive and need to be punished. They were sent through racial sensitivity training but do you think it worked?

There was a discussion held with about 100 students last Wednesday and how many of them there do you think were "oh that wasn't offensive! I've seen worse!" And how many of them do you think took an actual lesson away other than "Ehhh"?

I have no faith in these people. If one more person asks me to clarify why blackface is bad I will do something horrible to them. It isn't a hard concept to grasp. In Nashville I was lucky enough to learn what blackface was and that yes, it IS racism and it IS a bad thing. Apparently beyond my city limits, however, no one else got this answer (all white people, hmmmm go figure that) and scratch their heads at my outrage.

To those people I have to give a hearty "fuck off" and "read a goddamn book". The ignorant, oblivious racism on this campus is atrocious and MORE DAMN WORK needs to be done to get these white folk to open their eyes up to the stupid, stupid things they are doing. And MORE DAMN WORK needs to be done with the black folk here too--I mean, in the article the two sole black members of the frat actually said they "didn't care" about their frat brothers dressing in black face--WHAT, I say again. This madness cannot continue! The black population (hell, the minority population) of ETSU is small but that's no excuse; we can have a voice and we can make changes happen.

Black. Image.

I wrote this Livejournal post as a reaction to a comment I got on a different post regarding "typical black society", whatever that is. After blinking bemusedly at the comment for a few minutes I just wrote a semi-antagonistic post. Why semi-antagonistic? Because for some reason my LJ friends list is mostly white and 100% comatose & unresponsive when I talk about things of substance to me. I just fuck with them because I can these days. And now you see why I blog *side eye*

Since I've got about a little less than an hour 'til my next class, I figure I'd address something fairly important to me, that being the so-called "black image".

What do you envision when you think black? Do you see a man or a woman? If it's a man do you see a shaved head, broad nose, thick lips, preferably blue-black skin, bulging, wide, jaundice-yellow eyes, white beater, saggy pants & exposed undergarments? Am I getting close?

If you picture a woman, do you see large breasts, thick hips, ass, jangly bracelets, skin tight clothes, boots with da fur, silky lace front weave (or maybe even it's natural, I dunno), thicker, shinier, juicier lips than the male and some sort of salacious glance? Am I getting closer still?

Are these people named something acceptable like Jessica or James, or is it something totally made up and incomprehensible like Chaundicia or Jaewon? Do you hear "Lollipop" blaring for no reason? Am I close yet? Do you see it?

Do you know what the "black image" is? Do you hear the girl talking loudly in incoherent Ebonics, is the guy muttering in a low voice about his Glock? Do you think these people can spell, read, or speak properly? Are they high school drop outs? Does the girl have 4 kids by 3 men, has the guy impregnated 12 women over the last year? Is the woman receiving child support, is the man giving child support? Yes? No? Are you seeing it now?

I'll bet what you don't think of is a clean cut young man or a respectable young woman, high school graduated, maybe college educated, decent job and decent lives. No, that is not the black image that we're familiar with. That is not the black image that the community puts out. Unfortunately among the recent generations what I described above is either reserved for white people alone or other races.

We like to perpetuate ourselves. For some reason blacks are routinely seen as stupid and unsophisticated, not worthy of society so I suppose we figure why not, let's be the way they think we are. And when we confirm the fears of the pearl clutchers & purse grabbers then we perpetuate it. I wonder if anyone fears the loss of the black image and the black identity like I do.

This isn't the way to equality, damnit

Hu-sigh. I've really come to hate the almighty "race" question. As in, how do we solve equality. Or maybe even "what is racist and what isn't?"

I'm getting tired of people telling me that we have to "ignore our differences" to be equal. Why should I ignore what I am just to get on your little level? That's inane and I refuse. As a wise man said more or less, the key is NOT to ignore our differences. I'm obviously different from, say, someone from Spain. Different language, different culture, different everything. Am I supposed to just put that aside and try to get along with this person? Is he supposed to do the same? To me that would just be...crazy talk.

No, we shouldn't ignore our differences. We should embrace! Different isn't necessarily a bad word. We have to learn from each other, this is a good thing. I think by embracing our differences and trying to work with them in becoming equal is the better idea then just to ignore ourselves.

Why the fuck does this even need repeating.