More nigga moments: Not everyone is on your side

So, while I was doing...a lot of other things--I don't think y'all believe me sometimes when I say I'm busy, ignore Twitter--I started thinking back to a conversation I had, at least vicariously, with my Brother Danz.

You see, Danz thought it was a good idea to talk to his girlfriend--whom is Ecuadorian if I'm not mistaken--about this little incident in which we declared white people annoying. So he tells her and apparently she contests the idea that this is actually not racist. That is to say, it's not racist for a minority group to call the dominant group out on some shit because what can we do.

Anyway apparently they go back and forth about the shit, Danz tells me, I wait for him to see the irony, I don't think he does, and I call it a night because racefail makes me break out in all kinds of weird rashes & zits.

So, first the irony of Mr Nice White Man (and Danz is white whether he wants to claim it or not) having to break down the concept of white privilege to someone who is non-white was pretty lulz. I don't think he saw it or maybe he didn't want to bring it up. Second, complaining about having to go through for five minutes what I have to do like before I get out of my room good was...yeah I didn't want to hear that noise.

Anyway, so from that incident after I was done being pissed about it I brought up the fact that she may have been cloaked protectively in her own privilege--should I bring that up here? It's a little bit of hueism & classism going on. Also, it's finally FINALLY occurred to me that, you know what, there are just some folks who--either by virtue of the American Dream kool aid (delicious) or other factors--are just not. on. your. side. Even though they SHOULD be.

Being a minority doesn't mean you understand all the nice, pretty theory that goes into negotiating your identity. Truthfully for the longest time I didn't even care, and having phrases and nice words doesn't make reality any denser or less irritating.

Let's look at some dude in my Philosophy class, or as I will call it, the Poison class. Because I hate it. Anyway, he talks about group differentiated rights and, in proof that he's drowning in the Kool Aid--he's half black half Native American by the way--gives us a watered down version of the bootstraps meme in that, well, why DO certain scholarships and forms of government aid exist for minority groups, how is that fair? And well, those damned inequalities are always going to exist anyway, why are we blaming *coughwhite* people for things that happened in the past?

...Yeah whatever. I mean, theoretically I'd have told him to get the fuck out of my race but that would have been rude.

I'm coming to a point where I'm honestly just okay with folks that I'd like to show solidarity with probably not understanding where I'm coming from or even want to show solidarity with me. I can't make them and I'm not even sure if I want to make them. What I'm saying is I guess I'm just tired of being argumentative with what I would assume to be my own peeps. And I guess that's why I don't socialize even in the circles I supposedly belong to because I'm pretty tired of "negotiating". I wouldn't encourage this behavior often because it's a double edged sword in stifling your own voice by biting down on your tongue but really, we all just need moments alone away from the crowd. Long, long moments.