November 15, 2009

You are white & you should let it go now

Okay, so I'm starting to build up a coalition of white friends and I'm beginning to hate them all.

Hang on, let me explain before you run off. When I'm done, then you can run away.

I said, I'm beginning to hate them because there's usually only two kinds of white folks that flock to me: the oblivious ones and the ones that are just doing it wrong.

Let's take the first case: the oblivious ones. Easy to understand. I don't really bother to go into higher theory & anti-racism with most of my white friends because I know they just flat out don't get it. And I'm pretty tired. They get on my last nerves for the obvious reasons of being clueless and I don't like them.

Now the second case--the aware ones. The liberal, progressive, bleeding heart ones. The ones that can unironically break down their racial backgrounds to prove that they so totally aren't white.

Listen to me.

You're white. You benefit from your whiteness. You can't change this anymore than I can change the fact that I will be black and always be black.

Oh, but pause a minute.

I don't really care if you disagree or agree, I'm telling. you. I also seriously, seriously don't care if you're part Cherokee/German/Scottish/Irish/Chinese--believe me, I do not. In the same way that no one cares that I have Irish blood--guess what, I'm still black!

Now, stop bothering me with the details of your family history. Actually stop trying to uplift me, too, because you're just making me more & more irate. I think it's great that you intentionally seek out different cultures and thank you for not being homophobic, but, for real, you're making me annoyed by your sheer eagerness to be "one of us".

It's not that I don't like you, I just get tired of the folks like you on my side that exhaustively try to tie everything to your little pet causes. You can keep rejecting your whiteness all you like but until I see you on my level I'm just going to look at you funny because I have no idea what you're talking about.

...Lulz, okay I have to admit that was more of a vent at no one in particular--though they would know if they read--and isn't as nuanced because, you're probably thinking "okay so what if I look superficially white/fair skinned but am'n't?" I know, I know, I'm indulging in a little random anger here so I wouldn't get too worked up. But good lord do I ever get tired of some of the folks that are supposedly on "my side". They make me want to give up the equality game for real and make me feel worse instead of better :/

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