June 12, 2010


Hello my peoples,

It's time to put the "TV" addict back in my name and talk about TV! ...Socially justicey TV! Kind of. Well, now that I've tricked you:

I've been told this was my fault so let's see. I come in & decide to terrorize chat with my mom, and she's watching one of those damn bridal shows. This isn't the expensive one, it's the one with the dude. I hate all of them and they come on the same channel, so I don't know for sure. There's a plus sized black lady and she comes out in her chosen wedding & reception dresses and they're all beautiful (I'm also partial to purple, sue me). Noticeably, her wedding dress is strapless. Oh no, big people wearing strapless clothes! Cover up for God's sake!

Mom remarks that she couldn't wear a dress like that because of stretchmarks. My mind immediately goes into Socratic method mode and I ask, well why not? Nothing's wrong with stretchmarks, if you're over a certain (maybe arbitrary age) there's a really good chance you HAVE stretchmarks since people's bodies tend not to stay the same (especially if you, you know, have kids). I know they're unsightly and they do make products to erase their visibility but I think most folks on the street will tell you stretchmarks aren't that big of a deal. As the comedian Katt Williams tells us, stretchmarks mean you were either big & you got little or you were little & you got big. Over simplification, sure, but yeah.

I also brought up the fact that it's "common knowledge" that only big people have stretchmarks which, again, isn't true. And if the lady in the wedding dress really didn't want her dreaded stretchmarks to show, she might have used some foundation or even a tinted lotion, or some of the products that erase the visibility of stretchmarks.

I said all of this at various times and with way less purple prose but all the feedback I got was, "hm". And that, kids, is why I blog, among other problems I have.

The moral of the story is, however, I hate body shaming. Bringing it back to wedding shows, at least the ones I end up watching seem accepting of all body types & finding dresses to flatter the women & encourage them, but that's not to say some of the brides-to-be don't have their share of body image issues, because you know, you have to be PERFECT on your wedding day. I hate the fact that there's probably a woman right now contemplating something that will make her feel less happy just because she may have flabby arms or not the perfect physique. I mentioned to my mom the weirdest thing about her commentary is that she & I both frequently wear sleeveless tops despite both of us being plus sized & neither of us seem to care. Hell, I don't even shave & I go in all manners of "normal" clothes for "normal" girls I guess. She mentioned that it was different because we just go out casually; on your wedding day, it's different.

Which brings me to another point about how I dislike this bride culture that says fuck all the other days of the year, there's this one day where you have to be a PERFECT GODDESS. And there's so much pressure! I thought, okay here's a beautiful plus sized black women clearly happy with her day & someone's going to shame her about it, whaaat.

Sigh. Well, I've worked that frustration out, thank goodness.

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