April 7, 2010

Harrowing School Tales: The Creepy Junior Missionary (pt. 2)

What's up Blogomrades,

If I bothered keeping up with some sort of posting schedule other than "every so often" I probably wouldn't have so much to talk about racing in my mind. My scary school stories just sort of build up.

So here's a recent one from today that actually closes a chapter from ANOTHER awful story from last year.

To put it shortly, we have plenty of campus evangelicals, and I avoid them ALL save for this one dude this one time. He's really big (I mean it), has piercings, and huge headphones and generally looked like my typa guy. I was wrong. He is now my favorite Junior Missionary story in that you don't preach to me comparing the Dark Knight to the Gospels. Also try not to be a homophobe.

Anyway, so I'm sitting outside with my friend. We're outside her crime scene investigation class. Some of her class mates pile in & this one young lady starts talking about a creeper from her statistics class who is now expelled and probably going to be in some hot water for sexual assault (I didn't get all the details there). So she describes him and something clicks in my mind.

Grey shirt. Blonde hair. Piercings. Big headphones. It was the Junior Missionary!

Wow! Somehow I wasn't surprised, as he told me that before he became a BAC (born-again Christian) he'd had...relations with a very, VERY underage girl and gotten in deep shit, was STILL in deep shit and trying to turn his life around. Riiight, well you don't turn your life around by stalking (and I mean seriously stalking) a woman about 20 years your junior, making rape jokes (wtf) and just generally being a creeper. Then blaming the woman you were harassing for her own harassment!


Look, I don't know this Jesus fellow personally but I heard he was all forgiving...but seriously, I'm pretty sure it says in your damn book that there's just some shit Jesus don't forgive, yo.

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