October 28, 2009

Bisexuals are just greedy! and other tales

So...yeah I still don't know who/what I am etc etc, I wish I were dead and so on.

Anyway, I'm trying to get all my meltdown-ing out of the way so I can properly start NaNoWriMo and not be angsty and sad all the time. So here's a story for today.

I accidentally came out as bi. A friend of mine, a lesbian, who had no idea I was anything but straight (lies) told me I wasn't part of out campus LGBT group because I was straight.

I side eye'd her and hinted that, no, not really.

Pause.

Here's the thing--plenty of people mistake me for butch lesbian (if not a dude) simply on appearance alone, for instance: I don't dress femininely. The most feminine part of me is the fact that I have boobs and I wear a tichel every now and again, pretty much a strictly feminine object. ...Even if you didn't know that.

Anyway, so more often than not I'm told I'm a lesbian. The dissonance occurs when I'm around ACTUAL GAY FOLKS they can't tell a lick and just assume I'm straight.

Who? WHO?!

I guess it's my fault for pretty much never coming out but let me tell you why.

I suppose Lesbian-friend has had some bad experiences with bisexuals but she promptly declares bisexuals as confused and greedy and are just after threesomes with straight people.

*drives stake through own forehead*

I've heard these claims before. Until I saw the light I probably made some of these claims before realizing how ignorant I sounded. This is also telling me that the LGBT group on campus is probably failing to include the B as usual.

So, one more time with emotion:

-Bisexuality exists: FACT. I'm not asking you a goddamn thing about whether you "believe" it does, I'm actually telling you. ACCEPT it.
-Bisexuals aren't confused, they just love either gender
-It's none of your business
-If someone thinks they're bi curious or isn't sure how to label their own sexuality
-AUUUGH
-I hate you, FACT. I'm only angry because you make me hate you and I don't want to hate you
-I'm also quite unhappy

(not you)

Well, I got that out. Said friend also promptly outed me to another of our friend without asking me or, you know, any forewarning. Friend seemed to take it well but oh lord the rage is killing me.

...Okay now it's out. I feel like a music video and so I shall have one.

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