August 6, 2009

You ain't black, never was, never will be

So, tomorrow I'm determined to have an extra good day so I'll get out all my anger, anxiety & severe depression out the way TODAY. EXPECT NOTHING GOOD TODAY.

I see to have this problem a lot, along with my "safe negro" status, that some light complected *cough White* folks think that merely by hanging around me, some weird osmosis effect will take place and they will become black. Granting them access to the secret sub-world of the negro summit, all the mysterious bodily codes and fist bumping and jive words.

...jive words...

Let me explain. Our family friend W whom I haven't mentioned in a while. He dates interracially. He thinks he knows all there is to know about minorities. He is the most bigoted person I've ever had the displeasure of sharing company with.

DESPITE ALL THIS he somehow gets it in his head that because he occasionally does nice things for the family, that we is fwends. I blame my mother for coddling his dumb white ass.

This is a problem. Going to either mostly or completely white schools most of my life, I've had to witness depressing mockeries of my culture. We're reduced basically to an MTV/BET minstrel show and I'm supposed to laugh because it's funny. It's not.

I've always said (because I got it from someone else a long time ago) that, perhaps, because Blancura feels like it has no culture that it has to rob others. Or in other words, you want to be black but you don't want to BEEEE BLAAAACK.

I wonder about that wisdom now. I don't think anyone truly wants to "be black" now do they, whatever "black" at this point. It's probably something negative. But I do know that you aren't black, you won't be black, and you never were. I just don't know how to drive these things in sometimes (maybe because Blancura doesn't listen to minorities) and so I give up and watch the nice erosion.

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