July 2, 2009

Quit TOUCHING ME goddamnit.

Vent level: medium-high

There's something I'm going to need my parents especially & everyone I know to understand.

That is, you don't own my body. You just don't. If I politely tell you please do not tickle me or hug me, it's my only expectation that you not do these things. If you don't respect this the first time my next option is to tell you to back the fuck off. If for some reason you still don't respect this the third time, I've seriously harmed people for touching my person.

I don't know what's so hard to get. Look, I don't like being tickled. It's not fun for me. It hurts & it upsets me. I do not like sudden movement. Trying to sneak up on me is a good way to get checked in the chest, abdomen, or face. I can't control this I just do it out of self defense. I've explained before that I was touched inappropriately as a child & abused by family members, so having this bullshit continue as an adult really, really, REALLY fucking upsets & scares me.

You actually don't even have the right to an answer as to WHY you can't do these things without my consent. Just trust that when I say I don't want a hug or a kiss right now that I'm not kidding you, I really don't.

I literally feel exhausted having to explain this shit. I get the feeling that if I just started yelling, "I. WAS. SEXUALLY. ABUSED!!!!" more often people would back off me. I just so happen to feel that I shouldn't have to do that. You should just try respecting my personal space without getting upset.

For some reason, this infuriates my mother & father. I usually start out politely & respectfully asking them not to run up and grab my goddamn hair without my consent. They understand that I'm pretty ticklish everywhere but still try to test me. This makes ME mad but do I get a say? No, never. I've literally had to physically push them off me. Why? What the fuck? What don't you get about "I REALLY DON'T WANT THAT RIGHT NOW OKAY?"

It's pretty dumb that I have to express my outrage about this so often. It's a pretty simple ass concept. I get annoyed when I see adults doing it to kids or adults doing it to other adults. I have no idea what it is in us that makes us think, "Wow that person has great hair/nice skin, I just wanna caress it totally with out his/her permission!"

When I tutored every now and then you'd get adults pinching cheeks, slapping arms or backs. As having my personal space so repeatedly violated that just makes me twitch. That sort of thinking that you can touch another person that way despite how unseeming or innocuous your intentions are pisses me off--you're implying that kid can't think for hir self or is somehow lesser than. I find that this makes me especially mad when it's a parent. That kid isn't your property, it's a damn child.

I'm not your property, I'm a damn person. A grown ass human being at that. Make some fucking noise when you walk behind me & if I don't give you a fucking engraved invitation to touch me, I'd rather you not. YOU would rather not.

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