June 18, 2009

We're totally sorry 'bout that slavery thing. For real this time, for real!

From Twitter comes this dramatic tale:

Senate approves resolution apologizing for slavery

WASHINGTON (CNN) -- The U.S. Senate on Thursday passed a resolution apologizing to African-Americans for the wrongs of slavery.

The nonbinding resolution sponsored by Sen. Tom Harkin, D-Iowa, is similar to a House resolution adopted last year that acknowledged the wrongs of slavery but offered no reparations. The House will have to vote on the issue again because the composition of that chamber changed after last November's elections.

The resolution was approved on a voice vote.

Because it is nonbinding, it does not have to be forwarded to the president for his signature.

Several states have passed similar resolutions, but the House resolution was the first time a branch of the federal government did so.

Harkin's resolution "acknowledges the fundamental injustice, cruelty, brutality and inhumanity of slavery, and Jim Crow laws," and "apologizes to African-Americans on behalf of the people of the United States for the wrongs committed against them and their ancestors who suffered under slavery and Jim Crow laws."

Jim Crow laws were state and local laws enacted mostly in U.S. Southern and border states between the 1870s and 1965 that denied African-Americans the right to vote and other civil liberties, as well as legally segregated them from whites.

Some members of the African-American community have called on lawmakers to give cash payments or other financial benefits to descendants of slaves as compensation for the suffering caused by slavery.

Now, I have somewhere exciting to be today for once, but this? This shit right here? THIS is EXCITING.

You're probably saying, ain't Congress already said sorry for slavery before? Yeah they did. I totally cracked up when they did. This time, not really that amusing. I mean I guess the first time shouldn't have been that amusing either but I had a looser sense of the term "humor" back then.

The difference between this fauxpo--I mean, apology and that other apology is... *sigh* reparations.

Actually, other than being partially over this reparations thing (that being the reason this shit will tank) I have other issues with this that I can only give you in list form:

A) It's "nonbinding" meaning the president doesn't have to sign it. *coughwhycozhesblackcough* And...it's nonbinding...?

B) The timing of this is just STRANGE and you aren't fooling anyone

C) Stop apologizing to blacks & proceeding to oppress us

D) You should probably start apologizing to some other minority groups too *coughnativeamericanscough* *cougheveryonecough*

E) How are you apologizing on behalf of the American people? Not all the American people enslaved black folks. Actually I think it was only one particular group...not sure...

Oh government.

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