June 28, 2009

That last skin bleach post

I got bored with being "relevant" and "on top of things" so I'm going back to my favorite topic this week. I thought about this in my sleep & woke up feeling all kinds of bad, but oh well!

First off, if you didn't read my edit, I'll tell you again that this is hardly the first time I'd heard of skin bleaching products. I'm aware of them and know why they exist (and why you think they exist) and have been for a while, that's why I noticed them. I knew what the fuck I was looking at and I was outraged that they were there. I could probably tell you WHY they were there. We could go on and on. I bet they're still there. That thought is mighty tempting too, they were expensive but not out of my price range.

Eh what? Don't give me that look. Do you think I'm kidding? Hell YES I'd bleach my damn skin if I didn't think I was compromising all sorts of integrity. There I said it. I don't necessarily want to be white just lighter skinned. When the green fades out my hair I'll already be rocking the blonde, do you think my eyes would matter? Contacts!

(okay the contacts would be a little expensive. and I don't like them)

Yeah yeah being lighter complected isn't all that excellent. Yeah. I know. The problem is, I'm black, and if that's not total unexcellence I don't know what is. My blackness is like an obstacle. It gets in the way of a lot of things I'd much rather be doing, like, I dunno, equality & being happy. I mean, I'd still have some problems. I'd still be gay & I'd still be a mixed up individual--but I'd be a fair gay mixed up individual. And that is clearly, clearly all that matters.

No, I don't hate my skin color or my race. The only thing that truly bothers me is that I can't seem to tan right in the summer. I'm just tired of being a minority & all that entails it. Being the rarest of the rare unicorns in everryyyything and usually the base of it is--surprise surprise, I'm black. It's a stupid internal/external struggle.

But for me, the fun part is, I could probably lighten myself to snow white (thus doing horrible damage to my skin in the process, but oh well) & I'd still be black. It's true, I'd still have the same features (my nose is a thing of wonder). I don't think bleaching is going to lighten my brain cells what few are still there. Because as well as being an obstacle my blackness is also a bit of a stain. I couldn't get rid of it, but wouldn't it be damn awesome to try? No harm done...

Look, it went full circle--from spitting outrage, to resignation, to...resignation again. Mmkay maybe a U-turn.

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