June 25, 2009

Inexplicableness from Vanderbilt University

EDYT: A lovely comment has laid down some science for all our benefits. See it in action...below!

First off, although I am destined to marry Anderson Cooper (and like 5 other people), let it be known that I kind of hate Vanderbilt. Like kinda hate them a lot. I don't know if I can ever explain why (well, yeah I could but not now). Uh, if you're still wondering wtf is a Vanderbilt I'd just hit the Wiki link, it's more informative & nonpartisan than I am.

This should actually be MORE inexplicableness from Vanderbilt because it's not like they don't do weird shit all the time. But this morning mommy pointed out a weird ad to me calling for...well...let's look at it. I couldn't scan it for some reason so...I photographed it. DEDICATED.

It says:

needed for research
(first off, I love how that's all in big bold ass letters)

"Researchers at Vanderbilt are recruiting healthy Caucasian females (18-25) who have used Ecstasy recreationally to complete a confidential brain imaging study. Participants will be compensated up to $375 for their time in completing a comprehensive study."

Okay...yeah I left the number, actually, I totally want you to give Gavin a call and ask him the questions I need to know.

You'll say, "Mr Gavin, I crudely tore this ad out from my local newspaper and WHAT THE HELL, sir?"

Actually, it's not all bad as that. Okay being the racism chaser I am I did tear it out because of the Caucasian (what if I'm just white?) women connection. Then I realized, I have a lot of questions about this. I don't know if I can even put them all together so I'll try.

First off, I AM actually curious about the white women connection. Sometimes you'll hear there are just certain drugs that, say, black folks don't use and ecstasy may or may not be one of them, I'm not sure. I am familiar with ecstasy (the drug) if anyone asks, no I've never used it. In my mind I'd probably say yeah, I wouldn't associate it with black folks considering where I live. I remember when the anti-drug ads were coming out full force against this NEW, EXOTIC, DEADLY drug it was indeed mostly associated with young white folks that hung out in the club. I also remember they tried to make ecstasy look like some new thing when like most narcotics it'd been around forever, I think it was because Them discovered that more teens were using it, something like that (yeah let's not save the adults).

Speaking of those anti-drug commercials, it seems we're all pretty clear on what ecstasy does to the body...? That's why so many of those commercials showed teens ultimately dying from overdoses. Or why it's illegal in the first place. Uhh. I'm guessing this is some sort of comparative study, maybe on treating overdoses, although until one of us calls Gavin we'll never be sure. All we can do is speculate or move on.

Lastly, that...compensation. It's not unusual, I know, but damn if I don't want me $375. Okay, understand Nashville isn't doing too well with that recession & unemployment thing, I could bag some skin bleaching products and start doing the E-candy right now for that kind of moolah.


Actually this is incorrect. Nashville is one of the cities least affected by the economic downturn.

I have to go with "if you say so" on that one. I was being...no wait, I really do want $375 for doing ecstasy, you know how awesome that would be?

Also, as a side note, I guess I am kind of vaguely interested in why women exactly, if this isn't a comparative study like I think it might be. I don't know if Vandy's been calling for recruitments for a while or not, this is my first time viewing anything like this, so I dunno. Curious.


Also, as you surely know, sample size and sample homogeneity are critical for genetic/epidemiological studies. Presumably either funding is only available to cover studies in one sex and one ancestral group or the study's designers determined an insufficient N would be available other ancestral groups.

And there you go! Science! Apparently when I mention "race" I get the knuckleheaded fools dragged into the yard but if I mention ~*SCIENCE*~ and/or Vanderbilt University I'll get actual answers! ...weird, I mentioned science and race in this though...where's the "IT'S NOT RACE"? Disappointed.

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