April 28, 2009

Pop quiz: Can you handle gayness?

Quick! Assume you're a perfectly normal straight person of any color (although preferably white), maybe middle class/working class-ish.

You have an idol, someone you look up to greatly, be they male or female in any profession. But you just found out he or she is gay! The National Enquirer said so! Caught having a romp with the same sex in Antigua! You are:

A) Amazed
B) Shocked
C) Nonplussed or otherwise not caring
D) Fit to be tied

After this sudden burst of emotion, do you

A) Scream and rend your clothes, beat your chest and run outside in the streets
B) Become an advocate for other repressed gays
C) Move the fuck on
D) None of these or something worse (____________________________________)

The first thing you do is go to Youtube and:

A) Find every anti-gay video you can and vote every negative comment up and every positive comment down
B) Join a positive group
C) You were going to troll but got distracted by the new Weird Al video
D) Read a book

After all this you are:

A) Sleepy
B) Exhausted at taking away the right of others to take your right to take their rights away
C) Amused
D) Wondering why you spent $2 on that National Enquirer

Later on, you plan to:

A) Meet with your comrades in the struggle
B) Play a board game
C) Write several impassioned letters to Congress...politely
D) Sleep

Alright, tally up your answers.



1-2 nothing's wrong you
3-4, you sound a little hysterical there, are you...alright?
All 5, no really, it's going to be alright. Stop jumping on the couch.

Obviously I'm just kidding around, but I actually do have a reason for this joke-quiz. You'll just have to wait.

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