October 31, 2008

I think we missed something here

Ugh. I was reading this post from Renee on her blog, Womanist Musings (which is a very cool place by the way).

WARNING: What I'm about to say may come off a little...strong? I'm angry at several things today and I just want to vent a little.

Anyway, the post. It talks about an ad campaign opposing domestic violence, something I'd like to think we can all get behind yes? You'll have to read the whole post but basically there is a man from an organization that wants the ads taken down because they're...gender-biased I guess. It's offensive to men and fathers.

And then if you'll look down in the comments section, some of which are just...not even right, this is what kills me. I understand that we want equality in everything now, even the bad things like domestic abuse and rape.

"But abuse can happen to anyone!" you say. "Rape can happen, domestic abuse can happen to anyone, why only advertise men that beat women? What about..." and go on.

So irate right now. I understand, and I think we all can understand, that domestic abuse isn't strictly a female issue. It can happen in straight couples, gay couples...anything couples. Same with something like rape--not strictly for women, it can happen to anyone, yes?

So why only advertise for women? Because, in my thinking, it's because the Almighty Stats seem to point to the overwhelming majority of domestic violence victims & rape victims to be female. I mean, to me it's almost as simple as that. For all these people claiming that it's not just a women's issue well congrats because while you're bitching you're not solving it *rolls eyes*

...Okay, I'm going to apologize for that last comment, that was a little more bitter than I wanted. My mother suffered abuse for several years at her first husband (not my father), suffered emotional abuse from another man (my dad), then suffered sexual abuse as a child. To me, I'm not just going to shove her aside and go "Alright, you guys too!" This is really a sensitive issue I admit.

And just to make it clear, I'd like to stop rape and domestic abuse to everyone. I WOULD like to advertise the fact that it could happen to anyone, I'm not waiting for the stats to even up or anything silly like that. I feel for all people in pain or in need and I really do want to help everyone. I just wish we would all stop trying to clamber to the top of the "oppressed ladder" like you're more of a victim than I am or I'm more of a victim than you...we're ALL victims, dude *shrug*

This post brought to you by Wow I Need To Drink Some Tea.


  1. I share with you the same amount of rage at the comments on these ads..but, then again, I write a domestic violence blog.

    The fact is that by trying to equalize (is that a damn word) domestic violence, it gets off the fact that men are the predominant perpetrators of violence. Period. And when they get you off that topic, "they" are accomplishing their goal. Period.

    Sure, men are victims of domestic violence, BUT we aren't even talking about that right now..

  2. It seems to me that for the amount of energy he invested in attempting to get these ads removed he could have done some fundraising around making ads to support men in abusive relationships..but oh no it is the women that must concede. The what about the mehnz routine is tired and old.

  3. R. Xands wrote:

    "...the Almighty Stats seem to point to the overwhelming majority of domestic violence victims & rape victims to be female."

    What stats? Did you just ASSUME that women are the overwhelming majority of victims?

    Concerning rape: They don't count prison rape in the rape calculations, and yet most prison inmates are men. I would challenge your claim on most rape victims being women.

    Concerning domestic violence: just what stats are you referring to when you say that the "overwhelming" majority of victims are women? The CDC says that 38 percent of domestic violence related injuries are suffered by men. In terms of prevalence, we simply don't have enough data to determine how prevalent domestic violence is (and therefore we don't have accurate figures on the incidence of DV) -- this is according to a 2006 report from the Government Accountability Office of Congress:

    2006 GAO Report:
    "Prevalence of Domestic Violence, Sexual Assault, Dating Violence, and Stalking"

    What data we do have comes from peer-reviewed and published academic studies. And guess what they reveal? Domestic violence is must closer to parity than conventional wisdom acknowledges. See for yourself:


    Domestic violence is a highly unreported crime, and yet this is taken by feminist ideologues to mean that domestic violence against women is highly unreported. With primary aggressor laws in place in so many states, a male victim runs the risk of getting arrested himself if he summons the police for assistance; all his victimizer needs to do is claim to be a victim, and boom, he's off to jail, even if he's got a gaping bleeding wound in his head.

    Here's a statistic for you:

    In relationships where domestic violence is one-way (non-reciprocal), it is the woman beating on the man over 70 percent of the time. This according to a 2007 study published by researchers at the Centers for Disease Control:

    Differences in Frequency of Violence and Reported Injury Between Relationships With Reciprocal and Nonreciprocal Intimate Partner Violence
    Authors: Whitaker, D.J.; Haileyesus, T.; Swahn, M.
    American Journal of Public Health 941-947
    May 2007, Vol 97, No. 5

    So I would question your assumptions on the idea that women are the "overwhelming" majority of victims.

  4. John Dias, I think you just missed the entire point of my post. I don't care, I'm just saying.


Please share some knowledge. Or amuse me at least :O