August 17, 2008

The God and the Mole

So, I'm still watching El Topo. I'm actually almost finished with it, what's taking so long? God, there's an awful lot to digest in that is the case with most surrealist/indie/dear-mercy-what-did-i-just-watch films. The BEST of them anyway.

Speaking of God (kinda), last night I wound up buying God is Not Great by Chris Hitchens. I'm trying to put more literature in my life relating to my interests and who I am, and shit, why not atheism. Seriously, that was what I said.

I always wonder how my fellow atheists can be so eloquent about their philosophy and it makes me jealous a wee bit that they're more often than not SO damn articulate and confident (this probably comes from, I dunno, having an education mayhaps). No, I'm not expecting Hitchens to somehow make me more edumacated or anything although he might teach me some new words. No, I got the book because I prefer more personal accounts of self-discovery rather than, say, a manual. Like I had a choice between the Atheist Manifesto and God is Not Great, I skipped over to GING (oh look, an acronym!) because it was more personable and not just...facts.

I'll get more into that book later and my other reasons for getting it. This morning I was just having thoughts as I was watching El Topo. For some reason I thought to myself, "I can watch this movie and pick out all the religious symbolism and understand the allegories, and yet I don't believe in any of it."

Wow, where the hell did that thought come from? My enjoyment of a movie with religious & philosophical symbolism scarcely has anything to do with my atheism does it? No, it doesn't. I can casually watch a movie with such images and understand what it means and it's not much to do with being atheist :/ it's the same way that I can occasionally watch religious programming (mostly kid's shows) and keep my beliefs and theirs separate, and also not get horribly offended. Nothing to do with each other. But why do I think this way, like they should clash in my head for some reason? Hmm.

I also mentally commented on the semi-irony of my purchasing GING and still watching El Topo. Now where did THAT come from, I wondered again. That's just silly, considering that at its heart El Topo isn't so much about religion itself as it is about a personal journey (as I see it). So again, why did I think this way, and why just now? Odd to me. I must be hyped up on my first atheist text. I get overly excited sometimes, I admit.

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