Hold on, I'm about to tell you how to score. Or not...
I can't remember if I actually posted something about white people--women in particular--and their fascination with my new hair cut. Uhh, and I think I'm technically supposed to be studying right now but fuck that. I was a straight A student for *count* 7 years, I deserve a damn B.
Anyhoo, in late July I looked at my hair and noticed how brittle it had become and how nappy and ugh it was. You see, I've gotten perms semi-regularly since I was about 4. This doesn't bode well with my sensitive scalp (oh the hair sores I've had) and the fact that perms simply don't work in my hair. Can not and will not. My hair embodies my innate imperviousness (not even a word) to change. You can't put enough chemicals on it or enough heat to make that shit straighten as many a hair stylist has woefullu found out. My hair is twice as African as I'll ever be and I'm damn proud of it! As a result of all the chemical treatment and abuse, my hair was a hot mess and nappy and breaking off like mad, and me and Fluffkins were just generally unhappy :/
So, on a whim, I said "Fuck DIS" and got it cut off, the end. Now I have a teeny, burgeoning fro that's as wild and curly and thick as my genes & ancestry intended and I've never been happier. I love pulling out the curls and watching them bounce back :D it's fun. I've discovered that, uh, some of my colleagues here like it too. I had one friend seemingly subconsciously pulling on my hair *purrrr* and I didn't really mind but it was funny when she realized what she was doing.
The moral of this is, despite all my racism and blatant hatred for the white race, they seem to support me the most for some reason. For me, my hair change was a personal decision and not a big deal, but certain members of my family hated it and told me in so many words that it made me look too dykish. (They also didn't like it when I started dying my hair red, so what do they know?) Because, you know, short hair = dyke (which is ironic because they're right--but that's not the point, shut up!) and I have to keep my hair long and flowing to be feminine. Oh grow the fuck up, it's 2008.
I've never been particularly feminine in terms of hair and dress anyway. Hell, people have just come up to me and asked me if I'm male and/or repeatedly referred to me as a "he" and when they don't do that, they just call me a dyke or some other slur to my face. Thanks guys ¬___¬ for some reason--especially when it comes to the latter part of that sentence--it's usually black folk doing this. The people I figure would support me but logic dictates otherwise. Eh, I've kinda grown past it though at this point since I officially know how petty my people can be *shrug* and I do look kind of androgynous :O
Now my white friends? Don't give a damn. I don't know how many of them are being sincere but they just figure I'm the awesomest person ever for...anything. For being different from what they perceive as the "black norm" (you mean you don't shop at Hot Topic? They got good shoooes). For just being...myself. I wonder if they understand how fucked up the black community is/can be and choose to just celebrate me for being the "alterna-black chick" or because they're generally amazed by my presence. I mean, I AM certified awesome after all, no denying that. You'll be telling your grandchildren about me, just wait.
Anyhow, circling around back to my hair. For some reason the younger black crowd sees it as uncool, older blacks and oddly enough, white people think it's great. I've heard similar stories and for some reason didn't think it'd happen to me. In the end though, I don't really care because I'm happy with my hair; happy with the fact that I can take a shower and not have to stand under a hot ass blow dryer for 10 minutes; happy that I can wake up in the morning, pat it and make sure it's even, and go out; happy that it actually kinda suits my face because I have a round ol' head; happy that it's low maintenance; and for once, finally happy that it feels like I can be me for the first time :D
Now all I have to worry about is whether I need a pick or an afro-comb. Dad says an afro-comb but I think I'm getting on fine with my purple plastic picks ~_~
I can't remember if I actually posted something about white people--women in particular--and their fascination with my new hair cut. Uhh, and I think I'm technically supposed to be studying right now but fuck that. I was a straight A student for *count* 7 years, I deserve a damn B.
Anyhoo, in late July I looked at my hair and noticed how brittle it had become and how nappy and ugh it was. You see, I've gotten perms semi-regularly since I was about 4. This doesn't bode well with my sensitive scalp (oh the hair sores I've had) and the fact that perms simply don't work in my hair. Can not and will not. My hair embodies my innate imperviousness (not even a word) to change. You can't put enough chemicals on it or enough heat to make that shit straighten as many a hair stylist has woefullu found out. My hair is twice as African as I'll ever be and I'm damn proud of it! As a result of all the chemical treatment and abuse, my hair was a hot mess and nappy and breaking off like mad, and me and Fluffkins were just generally unhappy :/
So, on a whim, I said "Fuck DIS" and got it cut off, the end. Now I have a teeny, burgeoning fro that's as wild and curly and thick as my genes & ancestry intended and I've never been happier. I love pulling out the curls and watching them bounce back :D it's fun. I've discovered that, uh, some of my colleagues here like it too. I had one friend seemingly subconsciously pulling on my hair *purrrr* and I didn't really mind but it was funny when she realized what she was doing.
The moral of this is, despite all my racism and blatant hatred for the white race, they seem to support me the most for some reason. For me, my hair change was a personal decision and not a big deal, but certain members of my family hated it and told me in so many words that it made me look too dykish. (They also didn't like it when I started dying my hair red, so what do they know?) Because, you know, short hair = dyke (which is ironic because they're right--but that's not the point, shut up!) and I have to keep my hair long and flowing to be feminine. Oh grow the fuck up, it's 2008.
I've never been particularly feminine in terms of hair and dress anyway. Hell, people have just come up to me and asked me if I'm male and/or repeatedly referred to me as a "he" and when they don't do that, they just call me a dyke or some other slur to my face. Thanks guys ¬___¬ for some reason--especially when it comes to the latter part of that sentence--it's usually black folk doing this. The people I figure would support me but logic dictates otherwise. Eh, I've kinda grown past it though at this point since I officially know how petty my people can be *shrug* and I do look kind of androgynous :O
Now my white friends? Don't give a damn. I don't know how many of them are being sincere but they just figure I'm the awesomest person ever for...anything. For being different from what they perceive as the "black norm" (you mean you don't shop at Hot Topic? They got good shoooes). For just being...myself. I wonder if they understand how fucked up the black community is/can be and choose to just celebrate me for being the "alterna-black chick" or because they're generally amazed by my presence. I mean, I AM certified awesome after all, no denying that. You'll be telling your grandchildren about me, just wait.
Anyhow, circling around back to my hair. For some reason the younger black crowd sees it as uncool, older blacks and oddly enough, white people think it's great. I've heard similar stories and for some reason didn't think it'd happen to me. In the end though, I don't really care because I'm happy with my hair; happy with the fact that I can take a shower and not have to stand under a hot ass blow dryer for 10 minutes; happy that I can wake up in the morning, pat it and make sure it's even, and go out; happy that it actually kinda suits my face because I have a round ol' head; happy that it's low maintenance; and for once, finally happy that it feels like I can be me for the first time :D
Now all I have to worry about is whether I need a pick or an afro-comb. Dad says an afro-comb but I think I'm getting on fine with my purple plastic picks ~_~
The fascination with hair in the south is fucking ridiculous - and then some of the SHIT I've seen women to to their hair (like glue the bitch into the shape of a propeller or some shit) is just crazy. And the nails?!?! Why they gotta look like claws? That's just not cute.
ReplyDeleteAnyway - i have no idea what you look like ... but keep on keepin on. It's good to vent, I know - just don't let them get to you. If you like it - we're done. End of story.
I suppose India.Arie's a dyke now too? Who knew ... maybe you should wear a headress - that will keep them guessing. Oh, and walk around with a big ole' pipe, puff on it periodically and blow rings in their faces and then laugh the evil scientist laugh.
Have at it, hawney ...
I don't know what is about hair down here. Like if it's not perfectly straight and as far removed as "African" as possible you must be gay or something. Or if you ain't rockin' da latest styyyyle. I don't really get it. It doesn't bother me none, I don't get why I have to do my hair up to high heaven for...for what? Although I will admit I do like sensibly long nails, but that's turning into more of a horrible fetish.
ReplyDeleteI have hear people refer to India.Arie as a dyke because she so happens to be independent. I admit, I do wear a bandanna a lot (you know, Cripin' and shit) just to add to the androgyny and fuck with people--even though I have the girliest voice I can think of.
awwww - a bandana on an almost bald head and a soft girly voice. Que cute!
ReplyDelete