March 17, 2010

I hate comments: Now with dating advice

I don't often get troll comments because I hope the intimidating interior of my Casbah scares them off but it happens every now and then. And when it does, I occasionally give them a little time to shine before telling them to fuck right off a cliff because I like to lol.

And I just woke up roughly 10 minutes ago & I'm already mad, let's go:

Some frail soul named Derek or something with an AOL email address (bless his heart) wrote this on my skin bleaching post: 

i cant help but notice that the aisle your standing in holds sunscreen and tanner as well.

Which picture are you talking about, Drake? In either, no it didn't. Plus...err, I guess tanner is exclusively white now? Maybe you can't read or... *wanders off* 

just because you are black does not mean you have to feel pressured to be lighter in skin tone.

Wait, I see what the problem is, you just don't know anything about anything! Clearly you're asking for guidance. I feel bad for mocking you now, or at least I would if I cared at all since it's 2010 and all.

Well anyway, Darren proceeds to tell us about himself & some shit we probably already know/don't really care about him:

as a white person, i am pressured to be darker so that i am more appealing to my race and so i would by a tanning lotion. but do i cry racism when i see tanning products? no because thats just dumb.

Yeah that would be kind of silly considering that a White person wanting (and it is a want, I can't really think of too many instances where white people are told to be tan--and it certainly isn't to be BLACK) to be tan is waaay different from a person of color being told to lighten their skin. How have you managed to even live this lon--nevermind, I'm wasting valuable space.

its my choice whether or not i want to be darker, its your choice whether or not you want to be lighter. i personally fell that the most beautiful white woman is a pale one because it seems elegant to me. at the same time, i feel the most beautiful black woman would be extremely dark, because it is something you dont see often and strikes intrigue.

Derring stops praising the beauty of European standards a minute for the ~dark and exotic~ women. Good for you, Dalek, good for you. 

Then he leaves off with this piece of useful dating advice! 

you just have to face the fact that people are never going to be happy with the way they are and realize that when all black women turn white and white women turn black, they will want to turn darker/lighter (respectively placed on the opposites) becaaauuuusssseee....... opposites attract. shove off

...what? You were doing so well with not making sense, then you just descended into nonsense Duran!

LOL @ "shove off". No, Derek, I don't think I'll be shipping out just so soon. I wish you however would meet a much quicker, satisfying fate at the hands of a wooden block or something equally as comical.

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