January 23, 2010

To keep it moving right along

Right, so I was just going to keep it moving to what I was GOING to post after that last entry but I thought that might be crass and awkward.

So lest you all think me a lowly attention seeker, I actually did not what to assail you all with details of my problems, and in such detail. I did not even want to cut again. I thought all that was finally behind me and I'd found more productive ways to control my anger.

The situation that I never elaborated on was a bit stupid by itself, more important was that it simply triggered a life time of basically either being abused or feeling abused by so-called "friends". Sooo...I guess that triggered all my old methods of "coping" as well? Something like that.

If you can believe me I wrote that entry & did the act itself pretty much as a big act of blowing off steam and that's about it. A lot of things happened that night & the following nights that I'll probably go into another day, but for now let's consider this a return to your regularly scheduled programming.

But before we continue thanks to everyone for outpouring of concern whether it was here or email, Twitter etc, it really meant a lot to me. I'm doing much better now. Even before that I've been seriously considering counseling again but I'm thinking that will never happen on my super lily-white campus unfortunately, I really just don't feel comfortable talking to anyone here anymore about something that personal (again ergo the entry). Or...like, anything at all. That's kinda what I get.

So, little less self loathing from now on I hope.

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