August 15, 2009

Tore up over dieting commercials?

One of our past times in this house is thoroughly making fun of paid programming. Truly there is nothing to do early in the morning when the shit comes on (or sometimes late in the day too).

To the point, I've noticed that mom has always been incredibly sensitive to those diet & work out commercials and ads. You know, Jenny lost 560 lbs on Nutrisystem or HydrofatcutterX South Beach Shoggoth or whatever the fuck they do now. Not necessarily the home gym stuff, because that's actually helpful, but the dieting commercials.

Truthfully I get annoyed with them too for different reasons but mom gets particularly torn up at them. She'll balefully regard the TV, talk about how they don't work, the before & after results are fake, ask why they're so expensive, things like that. This can be amusing but lately I've been wondering about this.

Since finding out she has type II diabetes, naturally mom's had to go on a diet to reduce her blood sugar & keep it normal. Adjusting her diet has caused her to visibly loose weight & I find it really impressive. She doesn't. It seems to me that since she's actually BEEN losing weight her vitriol towards these commercials has increased. What was kind of funny has just become weird & uncomfortable now--for me.

I mean, she is right. I don't trust shit like Alli or Nutrisystem and they do tend to be expensive. I think the before & after body pictures can be damaging too. And mom has tried many diet plans and they haven't worked for her. I've even joked about how this diet is only working for her now because her only other choice is to...well yeah. Okay so we laugh at that shit in this house.

But anyway, I've been trying to get her to tell me why exactly these commercials bother her so much, more as a point of conversation starting. Keyword, trying, because she gets mighty defensive about them & I have to back off.

I think it might connect to mom's weight being more personal to her. Whereas mine likes to yo-yo all year round & since I left high school it hasn't bothered me nearly as much, hers is connected to all sorts of horrible things including boyfriends dumping her for smaller women. Because once that happens more than a handful of times it gets harder & harder to fucking piece things back again.

There's a few reasons I'm speculating about this openly here, for one it's part of so many weight issues we deal with here. Since we found out mom was diabetic it seems like these things have escalated, or maybe I've never tried to put it in perspective before. It's also weird because everything seems inversely proportional to mom LOSING weight, not gaining it again. I wonder if it's some bitterness over the fact that the one diet that works is the one your life pretty much depends on, or I could just be projecting my own fears here.

I realize that for something that's effected such a substantial part of my life (in a massive way--I got jokes) I rarely do any weight/body acceptance posts even though I'm pretty comfortable with it at this point. Or maybe I'm only superficially comfortable with it like a lot of things, but I think I should do more, relating to me even.

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