English women stink and gays can't play football

When men cry, the tears, they are bitter. They are bitter.

I actually got some of this from Womanist Musings, half of it actually. So...let us take a look at the "other side" of football, known to us Estados Unidos-folk as "soccer". Stare with me children!

Scandal of the week

Italy: unnamed Serie C player tells Italian TV that he regularly gets paid for sex by Serie A players.

So...he's not anonymous anymore?

'I get €1,500 each time. They enjoy my discretion: they have clean images so can never admit they're gay. But I am discreet: they like me. I've had at least a dozen from Serie A, some from the national team, and sometimes several of them at once. I hope they come out.'

Well if that wasn't enough to make you blink in confusion, maybe this will:

In April ex-Juve general manager Luciano Moggi told Italian TV there are 'no gays in football'. 'A gay cannot play football, obviously. How could players stand naked under the showers if one was a gay? I would never sign a gay.'

Yes, Signore Moggi, it is very obvious to me that gays can't play football. Because the only thing they have to do is stand naked under a shower, not...run around the field or anything. Your sexuality has everything to do with how well you can kick a ball and plant your cleats in members of the enemy--er, opposing team.

Actually that kinda points to how insecure these men must be about their sexuality in that all it takes is one gay man taking a shower with them to make their worlds crumble like stale cookies. Unfortunately, we still hear similar arguments in the US on why gays can't do...anything, actually, like join the military for example. Because...it would fuck with the morale of the troops! One gay person and the whole army goes down waaaagh! Gays ruin everything, somehow.

*checks blood pressure*

Now this is the story I saw on WM and it's just as ludicrous:

Napoli president Aurelio De Laurentiis says English women 'do not wash their genitalia'. De Laurentiis was reacting to four Napoli players being linked with moves to England. 'If these players piss me off then, OK, they can piss off to England. But they need to understand this: the English live badly, eat badly and their women do not wash their genitalia. To them, a bidet is a mystery.'

Italy is currently killing me, because of their politics and...this shit right'chere. My god he sounds like an angry child: "Oh yeah? Well...well...English women smell!"

Wtf? So you just decide to degrade all the women of England because you're losing a couple of football players? I don't know who the players are (I actually am a soccer fan btw) but they must have had golden feet with diamond nails! Was that necessary, dude? A bidet, frankly I think is a mystery to a lot of people all over the world since they really aren't necessary to proper hygiene *blink* I just want to know why...