June 29, 2008

Gaaaay crisis!

*dies* There's been this...series of stories lately about the ill-remembered Anglican Church and a little "rift" they're having in their own community about--that's right, GAYS!

Jensen blames 'homosexual crisis' for Anglican rift
A group of conservative Anglican bishops meeting in Jerusalem has agreed to create its own ruling council because of controversy over the ordination of gay clergy.

The Global Anglican Futures Conference held in Jerusalem this week claims to represent almost half the world's Anglicans and has criticised the Archbishop of Canterbury for failing to deal with what it calls a "false gospel".


Oh but wait, this is my favorite part of the article in fact:

Dr Jensen explained the reasons behind his group's formation:

"The homosexual crisis is only symbolic of a whole way of looking at the world, which many in the church had taken on as well, I call this postmodernity," he said.

"We have decided to rescue people in the west who want to stand for the old ways, who want to stand on the Bible.

"Secondly, we've decided to protect ourselves against this postmodern and relativistic world view that will come our way through the internet and other communicational revolutions."


My goodness, he sounds like the Big Bad Mean Ol' World is coming to eat him or something. We must rescue the bible-thumpers!

Face it dude--and I know you hate this--but you have to evolve, so to speak.

But if you read the article and interpret it the way I did (with much laughter), it seems like it really isn't a split at all--it's just Johnny and Willy and Jack and Chaz (every one has a friend called Chaz, even if you don't know it yet) meeting over at Bobby's house instead of Jamie's and going "Our clubhouse is better nyah!"

In effect, they aren't doing shit. So why post about it? It's just funny the things the "homosexual threat", according to SOME people, does, or can harm.

Gay people can now:

-Break up churches and groups
-Cause an increase in bestiality
-Bring the wrath of God
-Cause hurricanes
-Cause fires
-Cause tornadoes
-Cause pedophilia

Yeeeeah go get it LGBT!

So as you can see, I'm seriously not doing anything today.

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