April 13, 2008

No, Fuck YOU Universe

I'm sorry for the harsh language but it's been that kind of day.

Er, yesterday was anyway. I've lost my voice and gone through a pack of Halls and my eyes are dry, did you know that?

It's also...40 degrees out...and last week it was in the 70s. Again, fuck YOU Universe.

So here's a quick story of disaster, copy pasted from my LJ:

So, instead of my usual colorful ramblings (aren't they colorful?) I'll just skip to the point with this story.

We're going to Rivergate, AKA Sorta-Richland Where That Mall Be At, to pay some bills. Momo and I riding in the Death Wagon.

Momo has desperately been needing tires for...er, forever. And EVER. But, us being po'folks, cannot afford them, so we've been driving on janky (yes, JANKY) tires for god knows how long.We get on the interstate. The car starts vibrating.

I shout to Momo over the radio, "We need to get off this road! The car's vibratin and I ain't got no panties!"

We discuss the pros and cons of freeballing. The car continues vibrating, jittering all of my anatomy harshly. We get on a particularly ugly stretch of road and I just get a thought in my head, Shit, these tires gon' blow out and I say to Momo again, we should get off this road since it sucks and has like a jillion more potholes than these crappy highways usually do.

So, a few miles down, I pop in a CD of songs I saved from friends AGES ago (did Daniel ever send me some songs by Cake? I forget now) and I'm skimming through the songs, trying to remember what's on the CD. Then, in a sort of blurry surreal moment, I hear "BAM!" from the back of the car.

Momo is perfectly cool while I'm going "AAHAHHHH!" which is a total switch. I calm down after I realized, FUCK NO, the tire in the back blew out. I exclaim, "Are you effing SERIOUS?!" as we pull over to the side of the road.

We sit there and take it in. I glare as hard as humanly possible and am just PISSED.

Longer story short, we dial Triple A, they're useless and take 20 minutes to understand the directions and even longer to arrive, Highway Patrol sees us and I shout "THE FUZZ!", TDOT hooks us up with the spare tire in the backseat, and we go to Firestone to get ALL the tires replaced and traipse around in Petsmart.

Now the second part of this entry as indicated by the title, which doesn't have anything to do with the accident besides a few jokes. I've taken to wearing a cute pink sleeping mask on my head like a headband because...it's...cute? And I call myself Gay Zorro (like Zorro the Gay Blade!) and that's it. It also doubles as my eyepatch. I'm a pretty pirate!

I'm messing with the Blogger Draft features. I don't know what I'm going to do. I watched an interesting arty-horror film called Bruiser and I thought I'd do a reviewlette sometime...stuff sticks in my memory for a while. Also, it's foliocrunch time again right now. MONDAY is the day before I can finally REST goddamnit.

I don't really know how this "Scheduled Publishing" thing is going to work...but...I'll try it!

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